Faced with the economic difficulties we are currently experiencing, some parents think they are doing the right thing and protecting their offspring as long as possible against the future financial disappointments that await them, while keeping the subject silent.
A big mistake according to Béatrice Copper Royer, clinical psychologist, specialist in childhood and adolescence, who pleads for better learning about money right out of primary school.
What does financial education consist of in concrete terms?
Beatrice Copper Royer It is about teaching children the concept of money and showing them that it is a reality like any other that cannot be ignored. From a certain age, they must understand that we do not “live on love and fresh water”, that our way of life has a cost and that each family has a budget to manage it.
Why is it so important to educate them on the subject?
This education is a parental responsibility. It is not only the speech that counts but also the example. Many adults manage their budget badly, a quarter of the population is overdrawn every month. This pushes some people to use consumer credit and many end up with huge debts. Knowing how to manage your budget, from an early age, guarantees a long-term life balance.
Is it even more important after living through a pandemic?
Obviously. It is important to show that no one is immune to financial worries and that the family can go through difficult times. It’s very commendable not to want to encumber the children with these problems, but you shouldn’t hide everything. Especially since parents whose jobs have been impacted by the health crisis are feeling worried, far from being ignored by their children. Be careful, however, not to insist too much on the truth. This can be insecure, especially for little ones. I knew a patient in the middle of a divorce who said to her 9-year-old daughter: “I hope we won’t be sleeping under bridges”. The latter had taken the metaphor at face value and suffered from it. With the youngest, we reassure them by saying that we have what we need for our needs and that we have to make choices about the superfluous.
Knowing how to manage your budget, from an early age, guarantees a long-term life balance
BÉATRICE COPPER ROYER, PSYCHOLOGIST
From what age should they be “educated”?
On leaving primary school, around 10-11 years old. Below this age, the notion of money is still too abstract. The little ones are not independent enough, they are not yet allowed to go home alone or go shopping. When the children are older, pocket money is a great way to empower them. They discover the pleasure of affording something but also the limits linked to money that adults already know well: the wait and the frustration to buy something that exceeds the budget. Through this management, we also see the characters being formed, independently of those of the parents. There are the spendthrifts and those who hoard, the grasshoppers who never have enough and the ants who plan everything.
How should this pocket money be framed?
The parents agree on a sum adapted to age and needs. In the case of young people, this money is distributed on a weekly basis and when they grow up, the distribution is spaced out on a monthly basis. Children do what they want with their pocket money. If the savings disappear quickly, on the contrary, it is a good lesson for the child. In this way, by letting him do it, he will realize alone that he is a drilled basket. And above all, parents must not crack and fill in the gaps. For teenagers, this monthly budget marks a step in adult life because it resembles in a certain way the salary. If the young person is a big spender, the parents can try to discuss with him and explain to him that waiting to afford a nice gift is more satisfying than compulsive spending on products with little interest. And we can make them more responsible by also entrusting them with the money necessary to cover transport and lunch meals.
Through money management, we see characters forming, independent of parents
What if you are limited by your finances and would like to give more?
We discuss it with the children when they can hear it, around 10-11 years old. We explain to them that for the moment we are saving our money for essential things, rent, food, clothes. If the child persists and asks for a console, for example, we can offer him to wait for a return of money for his birthday, from his grandparents, his godmother or his godfather. We must not close the prospects and leave a little hope at the end.
How to explain that the subject of money is sometimes so taboo within the family?
It’s very cultural. We don’t have that American relaxation with money. This restraint is surely linked to our Judeo-Christian upbringing, which considered this subject as dirty and far from noble. In view of history, people from the nobility preferred to emphasize the moral virtues of courage rather than pecuniary advantages. All this remains very paradoxical today since we live in a consumer society and children are important actors.
The role of parents is not to control expenses. Children do what they want with their pocket money
Is opening a bank account a solution to controlling and learning to manage your expenses?
Yes. We are dealing with a very resourceful and autonomous generation when it comes to ordering purchases online, but some teenagers are unable to take responsibility because they still use their parents’ bank card and therefore have a rather blurred vision of what represent their purchases. The banks are adapting and offering specific offers for young people from 10-12 years old, without overdraft permission. The teenager can consult his bank statements on a mobile application and follow his day-to-day expenses. He also uses a bank card linked to his account and finally understands what this very abstract means of payment used by adults is for. For each expense, a line on the bank statement and a decreasing budget.
Some parents haggle with their child for a good report card or household chores for a few francs. Is it a good idea?
Regarding household chores, I am not in favor of this concept. You can clear the cutlery and put it in the dishwasher without being paid, it’s part of family solidarity: everyone helps each other and the sharing of tasks is beneficial. On the other hand, if the child brings back a good report, why not offer him a reward. It’s better if the money materializes in a real gift. But it doesn’t have to be a carrot every time to get a good grade. In which case, this would activate a permanent reward system, so that the children enter a system of blackmail and systematic negotiations.
Should we be worried when our teenager aspires to a job mainly for its pecuniary advantages? How to tell him in substance that “money does not buy happiness”?
There is no need to formalize. It’s a motivation like any other that can evolve during your studies. The right reaction is to explain to your child that the ideal is to combine this aspiration with the pleasure that work gives us, because it is a daily task, repeated all year round. Nevertheless, this conversation can be an opportunity to remember that rejoicing and joy do not always come through unbridled material consumption. Baking a cake, dancing to music, playing a board game also bring joy, which is free.
Tiphaine Honnet /Le Figaro
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