When you become a father or mother, you have the responsibility to raise a child. That’s a fact. Sometimes raising a child can be difficult or overwhelming. Sometimes you just don’t know where to start. Especially when those kids of yours don’t listen again.
If you are in possession of excellent listening eyes, you can stop reading now. You don’t need this item, you do it perfectly!
But do you regularly wonder why children don’t listen and have you ever been guilty of one or more of the statements below towards your children? (I’m not talking about the man for a moment).
– “How many times do I have to say it?”
– “Hello, does anyone hear me? Am I talking to the wall?”
– “Why don’t you ever listen?”
– “Have you not heard what I say?”
Then you are completely normal! Teaching children to listen feels like an endless battle and you ask yourself, ‘am I doing it all right?’ And even though you’re doing absolutely fine, there’s probably a reason your kids aren’t listening to you. There are experts who say the following.
Why children don’t listen
1. You don’t listen for a meter yourself. When your child tells you something, do you really listen? Or are you looking at your phone in the meantime? It’s not easy to listen to the endless and mostly boring stories about Dino’s and other uninteresting subjects that your child comes up with. But realize that your stories are just as boring to them. And that that could be why kids don’t listen.
2. You start your sentences with ‘you’, ‘if’ or ‘why’. If you start your sentence with one of these words, your child is acutely East Indian deaf. They have no interest in what you have to say and it’s probably because of this:
- Beginning a statement with “you” can come off as offensive. “You never do what I say!” (Do you already feel attacked since all dots start with ‘you’?)
- Beginning a statement with “if” can come across as a threat or blackmail. “If you don’t do what I say now, then…”
- When you start a statement with ‘why’ (“why don’t you listen to me?”), you expect an answer, which is often rather hopeless, since a child cannot and does not want to explain his behavior at all.
3. You start talking without anyone’s attention at all. They may hear you, but they ignore you for a while since you haven’t been clear who you’re talking to exactly. If you want your child to listen, get his attention first. And how to do that differs per age level. With young children you first look for eye contact and with older children, saying his or her name is enough. But wait for the confirmation before you blow the rest out.
4. You don’t talk, you yell. Most irritated parents often sink into a loud screaming voice. But the louder you shout, the more your children’s earphones muffle the sound. Advice is therefore: speak softer, not louder. I would add myself: with a very scary voice. But I think the experts disagree.
5. You talk too much. Will that be the reason why children don’t listen? In any case, it is the reason that the man switches off regularly.
Try to do what you have to say within 10 seconds. Because you may finally be able to have your child’s attention, it will also disappear in no time.
6. You make too many demands. Try asking a question instead of a demand. Nice advice, but the danger in this is that you also give a choice. “Would you like to finish your plate now?” You give your child the opportunity to also answer with ‘no’. But hey, he did listen to you! And that’s what this article is about, right?
7. You want attention at the wrong time, which is another reason why children don’t listen. When your child is busy with something, it is logical that he or she does not want to be disturbed. First check what your child is doing before you ask for attention. After all, you want them to do the same for you.
8. You don’t give clear consequences. You can safely attach consequences to certain actions, as long as you don’t start your sentence with “if”.
Not: “If you don’t eat your food now, you can’t watch TV.”
Well: ‘I understand that you want to watch TV, but you have to eat your food first’.
The consequence is clear. And if you want your children to listen to you, you also have to be consistent. But that certainly does not apply to the motto ‘always inconsistent is also consistent’?
I may not be an expert, but I also have an idea why children don’t listen. Maybe your kids are just a bunch of jerks? Yes, that will probably be the main reason. Your child is a jerk!
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