Casual sex or being friends with benefits may sound like an ideal solution for some people who are feeling lonely after a breakup. It may seem like there are no strings attached, and it’s a way to fill the void that someone has been feeling for quite some time. However, it’s not always easy as it takes more than just physical attraction to make a casual or friends with benefits relationship work.
One reader found herself in this situation after breaking up with her ex-partner a year ago. Even though the relationship ended in good terms, they still see each other from time to time because they have mutual friends. Recently they bumped into each other more than usual, and ended up hooking up a couple of times. The reader started to think they could be friends with benefits or casual, but she feels something is missing. Even though she has been single for a while and is very lonely, she becomes even lonelier after spending time with her ex. She wonders why she feels confused and questions if she will be lonely forever.
Firstly, it’s essential to understand that what appears to be loneliness often indicates something deeper: the desire for emotional connection, safety, and security. Sometimes individuals feel that if they have sex or engage in physical intimacy with someone, it will provide them with a sense of security and emotional connection. The truth is sex alone cannot fill that void. It’s a temporary relief but does not provide long term happiness and satisfaction.
It’s important for individuals to be honest with themselves about their intentions. Are they looking for companionship or intimacy, or are they entering a causal or friends with benefits relationship to avoid loneliness? For some people, casual sex or friends with benefits may work, but it’s not a solution for everyone. For those who crave emotional connections, it’s more likely to do more harm than good.
In the case of the reader, she needs to question her intention for wanting to pursue sexual activity or friends with benefits with her ex. Yes, the excitement of having someone known and familiar may seem comforting, but it is just a temporary solution. It’s best to take a step back and spend some time reflecting on what exactly she is seeking, whether it’s emotional connection or physical satisfaction.
In conclusion, casual sex or friends with benefits may appear to be a solution to loneliness, but it’s essential to understand that it’s not always easy. Emotional connections play a significant role, and it’s best to be honest with oneself about expectations and intentions. If someone is looking for a relationship to avoid loneliness, they are more likely to be disappointed and may end up feeling even lonelier than before. Therefore, reassessing one’s motives and examining what is truly desired can help to make better decisions.
