Aggressive
The noises of eating and breathing have driven Meagan insane for as long as she can remember. “It was pretty good difficult because I could not place it. I was like, why am I the only one suffering from this?” It’s not just the loud slaps that set her off. “Even just the sound of someone chewing and saliva entering their mouth. Or when someone rubs their teeth on cutlery.”
The feeling Meagan gets from those noises is best described as anger. “If I didn’t have self-control, I’d punch someone in the face like that. It doesn’t matter who you are. I may think you’re super nice, but as soon as I hear those sounds, all I see and hear is your mouth moving. I really have to concentrate so I don’t pay attention and I don’t get aggressive.”
Skipping meals
Try to avoid situations where Meagan has to eat with someone else as much as possible. “Or we have to go somewhere where I know there’s a lot of ambient noise. I’m getting better at focusing on other sounds, but it’s still too overwhelming at times.” He’s already skipped dinners several times. “Because I know I can’t explain it, but I don’t even want to sit there.”
Not only the sounds themselves, but also the possibility that the triggering sounds may occur already causes turmoil. “So I’m already busy with: Is this coming? Do I hear something? So I’m going to focus a lot on me hearing a noise that’s making me angry, so I know what to isolate myself from. I’m very aware of my surroundings.” Meagan says she’s getting better and distracted, but her misophonia remains a major struggle. “I don’t know if it will ever go away, but I really hope it does, because it’s really not fun. I also just want to be able to eat with someone without having to think about everything.”
