What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century and against the backdrop of current feminist, anti-patriarchal and gender-critical movements? Christoph Gosteli has been dealing with this question since he began working as a consultant at the Men’s Office in Zurich, a counseling and information center for men in conflict situations, seven years ago.
Dealing with this question not having to deal with this is also an expression of male privilege.
As a man, you can always hide. If sexist remarks are made between friends, I can just keep quiet and nothing will happen. TINFA* people do not have this privilege.
But there is also something liberating about questioning one’s own masculinity. “Masculinity is often a corset.” All of these demands that society places on men are so contradictory that men cannot fulfill them. At the same time, however, it annoys him that the question of profit keeps coming up in this topic.
This is not about profit, but about justice!
From father to feminist
When Christoph became a father, it triggered a lot of things again. But it is also a cliché that men only become feminists when they have a daughter. For him, this process had already started before that. But becoming a father made him realise that mothers are still in a very different situation in many things. For example, he does not have a chronic guilty conscience when you are not with your children and it is not forced on him by society, as is the case with his wife. The sentence “You can always just go away!” therefore does not do the matter justice.
If he had a son, he would want to convey to him above all that he should behave in public in such a way that those around him feel comfortable.
Ultimately, as a cis man, you have to ask yourself which side you want to be on: Are you on the side of progress, in the sense of a world in which everyone is doing well, or not? Do you want to be someone that people enjoy spending time with and feel comfortable with, or not?
The whole conversation about masculinity can be found here:
RadioFr. – Anna Binz
