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what the ex-minister talked about with a psychologist – Forbes Kazakhstan

Kuandik Bishimbaev

Photo: © Andrey Lunin

The Astana criminal court continues the trial of the murder of Saltanat Nukenova, in which ex-Minister of National Economy Kuandyk Bishimbayev is accused. During the next meeting, the trial participants continued to examine the defendant’s smartphone, where judge Aizhan Kulbaeva found his personal correspondence with the deceased. The chat mostly consisted of everyday dialogues.

Then the ex-minister asked the judge to read out screenshots of correspondence with the deceased, which he saved in the gallery. According to him, he did this in order “to remind her the next time she left what she wrote about earlier.” In these messages, Saltanat wrote to Bishimbayev that she loved him, asked for forgiveness for something, but at the same time called him a narcissist.

“I don’t want to remain lonely, but I won’t be able to love someone anymore. I returned many times, endured everything, forgave. Now forgive me, come back to me. To be honest, I left because I had read everything: that a narcissist will always devalue you, and after the romantic period there will be a weakening again,” the judge read out the text of the message.

The lawyer of the injured party, Zhanna Urazbakhova, asked the defendant why Nukenova called him a narcissist in correspondence, to which he replied that Saltanat “had screwed herself up, read some books and articles.”

After further research of the smartphone, Aizhan Kulbaeva found Bishimbayev’s chat with family psychologist Yulia Gerasimova on Telegram. Bishimbayev’s main request to the psychologist was: how to let go of control, be less demanding, less anxious, and defeat narcissism.

As the correspondence shows, after a short time the couple was already undergoing therapy together and discussing how they could be less hot-tempered, control emotions, and respect personal boundaries.

Before therapy, the couple outlined their requirements for each other. So, Bishimbayev wanted Saltanat to cook dinner five times a week and be present at them, report her movements and be more restrained. Nukenova wanted Bishimbayev to reduce criticism, condemnation and emotional pressure.

During the announcement of the contents of the chat, the judge read out the psychologist’s conclusion, which she wrote to Bishimbayev and Nukenova after one of the sessions.

“My conclusion: most often conflicts occur in the following way. Kuandyk pays more attention to Saltanat’s psychological state. He sees that she may be distracted or sad, because of this he has the idea that Saltanat may begin to treat him worse or think about breaking up. This happens due to childhood trauma, so anxiety arises, which leads to an emotional state and negative thoughts. This anxiety leads to the violation of Saltanat’s personal boundaries, as Kuandyk begins to ask different questions related to situations in the relationship. Saltanat also experiences anxiety because he does not understand why something could go wrong, since his true desire was to be alone with himself, and not to distance himself from Kuandyk. When Kuandyk tries to sort things out due to his anxiety, Saltanat begins to make excuses, and then begins to get angry, because he feels injustice. Such aggression provokes a response from Kuandyk,” Kulbaeva read.

After viewing this chat, the victim’s lawyer Aliya Omarova, reading out the results of the defendant’s psychological test, told the jury that Bishimbayev scored 22 out of 23 possible points on the “narcissism scale.” Bishimbayev corrected her, saying that 22 points is the middle, not the top positions, and told the court that the psychologist assured him that “all is not lost” for him.

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