“We See Each Other”: Young people take action to prevent suicide in the Netherlands

Every day family or friends in the Netherlands receive the message that someone close to them has died by suicide. Tim Zuidberg (29) experienced this twice, in 2016 and in 2022. Two young men from his group of friends had taken their own lives.

“There are so many emotions that come up: sadness, anger. And I also had a lot of questions. You want to understand what happened, but you can’t,” says Tim. Together with friends, he therefore decided to take action. They have set up a foundation with the aim of making mental health among young people a subject of discussion. “Enough is enough,” it reads an explanation on the website.

Tim describes his group of friends as “one you often see”. They met in 2012, while studying in Leiden. Years later they are still friends, but not completely. “We started with seven friends, but we are now only five of that group. We miss Ian and Martin,” says Tim.

Ian was 24 when he took his own life in 2016. Last year also committed Martin suicide. He would have turned 30 today. “We didn’t know they weren’t doing well,” says Tim. “You can’t see that on the outside.”

Suicide is the most common cause of death among young people under the age of 30. That appears from figures published today of Statistics Netherlands (CBS). In 2022, 308 young people died by suicide, fifteen more than a year earlier.

Renske Gilissen, lead researcher at the aid organization 113 Suicide Prevention, says it is difficult to explain why the number of suicides among young people is rising. “There are always several factors that play a role, which is why there is not just one solution for everyone.”

Gilissen emphasizes that it helps to talk about it. “Start the conversation and don’t keep walking around with it. Even if you think someone else is not doing well. Talking about mental health can really be the solution to recovery,” says the researcher.

According to Tim, this is still not done enough by young people. “As students and young people, we can talk about anything, but how things really go? That turns out to be more difficult than you think.” He also notices this in his group of friends. “During one of the first meetings for the foundation, we first talked about football for an hour instead of our grief.”

The suicide rate among men has been about twice as high as among women for years. From the in total 1916 people who took their own lives in 2022, there were 1315 men. According to Gilissen, this is partly because men are generally less likely to ask for help than women. “Men are sometimes ashamed, but it’s good if they ask for help.”

Tim also emphasizes that. “We all struggle with ourselves sometimes. It’s not ‘strong’ at all to keep this to yourself. Expressing your feelings is brave.” With the foundation ‘We see each other’, Tim and his friends want to spread that message and normalize talking about mental health.

For example, they want to engage psychologists to offer mental help to associations and sports clubs. To achieve this, the group of friends collects money. “When I shared a post about it, I received a hundred responses from people who had experienced something similar and wanted to donate,” says Tim. The goal of collection what 10,000 euros, but after five days the counter was already at more than 30,000 euros.

Ian and Martin’s friends are also organizing a bike ride this Saturday. “Martin loved cycling and in memory of him and Ian we will be cycling around their birthdays on May 10th and 12th,” says Tim. “To remember them.”

After the bike ride, Tim and the other boys from Stichting We see each other want to talk to experts to see how they should achieve their goals and how they can best spend the money raised. “We want to do it right, for Ian and Martin. Anything to prevent it from happening again.”