Tip 2: Don’t ask to be selected
If you are not confident in yourself, your counterpart is on a date reads the message easily desperate man: “Choose me, please, I’m so afraid that you won’t choose!”
Worrying about being left behind again logically follows from a general lack of self-confidence – in your appearance, charisma and outlook. After all, if you are not chosen, this is another proof that you again “did not hold out”, again you are not good enough.
“Besides, we are programmed to want to be included in some group – from an evolutionary point of view, such selection guarantees survival‘ explains Wilhauer.
As an example, she cites a paradoxical situation – a woman can cry because a man did not invite her on a second date, although, strictly speaking, she did not even like him. She just wanted to be chosen.
However, while you are waiting to be chosen, you are passive and helpless – you doubt that you meet the requirements of your potential partner, and programming yourself for failure. As a result, when you panic, you behave strangely and thereby alienate the other person.
