Understanding Your Attachment Style: Take a Test and Learn More about Yourself

Attachment is an emotional bond that influences both our personal relationships and the way we interact with others. Identifying our attachment style is essential in order to understand how we behave in love and in personal relationships.

Given that, a priori, it can be a bit difficult to determine it, we bring you a test that will help you to know the type of attachment you have, in addition to giving you information about each one of them.which will help you to know yourself better.

Test to know your type of attachment

To know the type of attachment you have, you must answer each of the following questions with the answer that best suits your behaviors in the personal relationships and your own feelings.

• When your partner or someone important to you leaves for a while, you feel:
  • 1. Calm and secure, confident that this person will return.
  • 2. Insecure and preoccupied, constantly needing him to confirm his attention and love for you.
  • 3. Indifferent, without being excessively affected by its absence.

• When an argument or conflict occurs in the couple…
  • 1. You usually try to find a solution with her, letting her know your emotions and needs in an assertive way.
  • 2. You feel anxious and afraid that the relationship will end, so you try to avoid conflict as much as possible.
  • 3. You withdraw emotionally, preferring to let the problem slide and avoid discussion.

• In those situations where someone shows interest in you, you tend to:
  • 1. Feeling loved and valued, but also cautious until you get to know the other party better.
  • 2. Give yourself completely and that person begins to be the center of your life, needing to feel a reciprocity for the other party.
  • 3. Show yourself indifferent and maintain a certain distance at an emotional level.

• In your relationships, you usually have difficulties to:
  • 1. Express your emotions and needs in a direct and clear way.
  • 2. Accept criticism or rejection without feeling too hurt.
  • 3. Be emotionally engaged and vulnerable.

Type of attachment according to your answers

Depending on your answers, will be able to identify your type of attachment:

• If most of your answers were “1”: in this case, you have a secure attachment type. That is, you are a person who feels comfortable with emotional closeness and you have full confidence in your relationships. Likewise, you tend to show your needs in an open way and, instead of avoiding conflicts, you look for solutions to the problems that arise.
• If most of your answers were “2”: your attachment style is anxious and you are a person who feels a great fear of abandonment, constantly seeking confirmation and attention from your loved ones. In fact, you may feel insecure in your romantic relationships and you are very afraid that they may reject you.
• If most of your answers were “3”: it means that your type of attachment is evasive. In this way, it is usually difficult for you to open your emotions in front of others, and you choose to keep a certain distance in your relationships. You may feel uncomfortable about your own privacy and prefer to avoid conflict rather than face it.

How to overcome effective attachment in a relationship

Affective attachment, or emotional dependence within the couple, It is a type of addiction that, as time goes by, It can lead to depression and suffering. There are many people who suffer from this disorder and who feel blocked by the possibility of abandonment or loneliness.

The main problem of these people is that they are dependent and their ease is completely dependent on their partner. However, this type of unhealthy love can be treated and There are some tips and recommendations to overcome it:

• Strengthen your self-esteem: Insecurity and low self-esteem cause many people to end up falling into emotional dependency, so that they feel more secure and strong, although it is really a mirage. For this reason, it is important that you dedicate more time to yourself, that you learn to love yourself and recognize your virtues, as well as being understanding with your mistakes.
• Enjoy the solitude: Learning to be alone is not easy, but it is necessary to be able to overcome effective attachment. To do this, practice spending time alone, which will help you mature emotionally.
• Set goals: affective attachment causes people who suffer from it to have no more goals in their lives than the joint plans they share with the other person. Although common projects are necessary in a relationship, individual projects that each one should have are also necessary.
• Assertiveness: You must be able to say what you think at all times, always in a respectful way. Likewise, in order to overcome effective attachment, you must be able to say no and reaffirm your personality, as this will help you regain the autonomy you need.
• Face the problems: Faced with any problem that comes your way, instead of letting it dominate you, try to face it, for which it will be key to recognize it and have the necessary tools to deal with it.

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