Giulia Stabile, a fish out of water as host: rating 4
She was the first female dancer to win Amici, just two years ago. Now twenty-one, she has a career in search of an author. Giulia Stabile hosting Tu Sì Que Vales is the equivalent of an Amaro filtered Instagram story. Only, even more ephemeral. You don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb mountains, that’s true. However, this specific fish was put on a Saturday night show, moreover on the Biscione flagship network. And, therefore, it is possible as well as necessary to sum up his lackluster performance. In addition to social content, you were entrusted with little or nothing during the broadcast: just a few launches (on which you managed to stumble, on time). Portrait of the girl next door as per banal cliché, on the very rare occasions in which she was given a say, it even made the already dramatic situation worse. She showed herself, for example, terrified at the idea of saying “bad words or grown-up things”. Adult and vaccinated, she looks more like Pollon than a real person. Great talent in dancing, she should continue to dance. There are those who study and work hard dreaming, one day, of hosting even just a village festival. Saturday evening on Canale 5 entrusted to a girl who “does not see, does not hear, does not speak” is pure heresy.
Maria De Filippi very mischievous, we never see her laugh like that: rating 7.5
Always dutiful and severe, but also imperturbable and coherent. Maria De Filippi hosts her broadcasts like a cyborg dispensing wise advice. From You’ve Got Mail to Men and Women via Amici, it’s very rare to see her lose her temper (even if, sometimes, it happens). A certain detachment is the means by which she leads the public to empathize with the stories she tells, be they love affairs or pop’n’roll dreams. If it’s true that, every now and then, she smiles on Amici, we never see her let loose like she does on Tu Sì Que Vales. And witnessing this phenomenon is quite unsettling. Extremely spiteful towards the designated victim Sabrina Ferilli, “Bloody Mary” on the jury of the successful Saturday night talent show gives up her impartial Iron Lady frown and has fun. A loose cannon, even more irreverent and unpredictable than Luciana Littizzetto. Who would have thought? Promoted, not without surprise.
Luciana Littizzetto does her homework (but doesn’t have fun): rating 6-
If Tu Sì Que Vales had a mantra to summarize the show, it would be something very similar to: “It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s just happening.” The freaks parading among the competitors, the more aggressive sound effects of stadium vuvuzela chants, the spectacular teasing of Sabrina Ferilli, “guilty” of the simple fact of being there. The talent is a gigantic caravan from which it seems impossible to get off. The juror Luciana Littizzetto gives the impression of wanting to do so, however, with every feeble applause. Encouraged only by the arrival on the scene of handsome and/or muscular competitors (who are always “worth” to her), for the rest of the time she doesn’t take to the field, she sits in an armchair waiting for the carousel to finish her wicked race. She is not the same “Lucianina” that we see in Che Tempo Che Fa. Perhaps the comedian needs more serious spaces to emerge with her own explosive spontaneity. In the midst of the chaos, she ends up getting lost. And also to get impatient, it seems.
Sabrina Ferilli is the life of the party (despite the “flambè b-side”): rating 8
Each episode, a via crucis. Sabrina Ferilli is on the jury of Tu Sì Que Vales to suffer. And she does it, for some reason, with great amusement. Among her “tormentors” we can count first and foremost the terrible Maria De Filippi, deus ex machina of pranks and mischief that strike the actress suddenly, leaving her no escape. Fake competitors who transform into The Riddler of Saw by subjecting her to impossible riddles, Mephistophelean penalties in the event that ours doesn’t get the answer right, feral water balloons. Not only that, the designated victim, she also saw her service armchair go up in flames, overheated on purpose to annoy her. “I have the c * lo flambè!”, She exclaimed running away, straight towards I Nuovi Mostri di Striscia la Notizia. How she can not get annoyed, especially in front of the very annoying puppet-disturber Giovannino, is a deep mystery. What is certain is that every year, however, she returns to sign up to be mistreated on Saturday evenings on Canale 5. Luckily, she doesn’t lack self-irony. And so, with all due respect to her own “executioners”, she is the one who holds up the entire show thanks to hilarious and truthful reactions. Who makes him do it, however, is not known.
Gerry Scotti is bored (and cries for reasons he cannot say): rating 5.5
Rejecting Gerry Scotti should be unconstitutional. Yet at Tu Sì Que Vales, ours always seems to show more craft than enthusiasm. Juror with delegation to trash, he gathers the freakiest and most unlikely competitors, giving them asylum in his “stable”. Despite the outrageous sum, in this eighth edition, he stood out in two specific moments. The first was when he, faced with yet another acrobatic dance performance, declared that he “often got bored” during this type of acrobatic performance. And here we can only congratulate him for the intellectual honesty demonstrated. The second was the sudden crying during the Semifinal: the juror broke down sobbing while a competitor was trying to dance to “ItaloDisco” by Kolors dressed as a waiter. Certainly not a memorable or emotionally engaging performance. Uncle Gerry, however, abandoned his joviality for personal reasons, specifying: “I can’t say why I felt like crying.” As already written, at Tu Sì Que Vales the motto always dominates: “It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s just happening”. Given the choice, we would prefer to see him carefree and laughing, at least on TV. The peak of the edition’s power, for example, is the theatrical improvisation sketch in which a group of unfortunate competitors made him dress up as an elderly lady (“mamma”, by the way, by Ferilli, De Filippi and Littizzetto). The only time he looked like he was actually having fun? Yes unfortunately.
Rudy Zerbi, the survivor who wants to “shoot everyone”: rating 8+
V for Vendetta. RZ for Rudy Zerbi. Even the competitors, at times, mistreat him: a crew of improvisers cuts him out of the number that involves all the other jurors, for no reason. A few episodes later, we saw him flying, hanging from a motorcycle that sped along a rope hoisted into the sky. Not to mention when he ended up, for no valid reason, centrifuged in the “infernal carousel” of the Luna Park set up outside the talent studio. Perpetually struck by the barbs of his colleague Gerry Scotti, Zerbi does not recognize himself in the role of an easy target, a stress reliever, a voodoo doll as opposed to the broadcast. And, then, he fights back. He showed off blind fury, for example, on the roller coaster, when he wanted to “shoot everyone”, while Littizzetto collapsed on his shoulder, giving up the fight (he suffers from vertigo). The Professor of Friends, on the other hand, doesn’t suffer at all and returns fire, both friend and enemy. Of this eighth edition, the kiss on the mouth exchanged with Gerry Scotti will remain, complete with a sexy parade throughout the studio, before the effusion. Due to a professional deformation that is very sensitive to golden uvulas (but above all to “lead” ones), the role of the victim really doesn’t suit him. And so, with all due respect to contingencies, here he is transformed into a beast. Indestructible attitude, undoubtedly forged in the fire of a thousand discussions with Anna Pettinelli in the chair at Amici. Rodolfo, the survivor.
Giovannino, the disturber is certainly a mystery (never funny): rating 3
Only Maria De Filippi seems to be able to find it downright hilarious. Giovannino has been a regular disturber of the show for years now, with responsibility for teasing the unfortunate Sabrina Ferilli. The cabaret artist Giovanni Iovino, this is the registered name of the man under the costume, does everything to make himself annoying. And he does it perfectly. The theft of the actress’s pashmina, obviously done by us, held sway for the entire edition. Without a reason. Visually the son of a cross between Gabibbo, The Riddler from the Saw film saga and Pollock, he is certainly not a Saturday Night Fever character. He is more like a hallucination that could actually occur when the thermometer dangerously exceeds the 40° threshold. Yet it is all, inexplicably, true. He never laughs, he gets annoyed too often. As pleasant as a sudden call from the accountant.
Amedeo Abbate, finally a comedian who is remembered: rating 8/9
Among the best competitors of this edition, the comedian Amedeo Abbate. Impervious to copy and paste, he brought to the stage very courageous monologues, made up more of pauses than words. Going against the trend of the stereotype of the “talent comedian” who shoots out a whirlwind of words in the hope of getting at least one joke, Abbate, who in life teaches in an elementary school, takes his time and makes Maria De Filippi fall in love, as well as Luciana Littizzetto. Meanwhile, the public is divided: there are those who profess to be fans from the first second and those who, however, find it an excellent alternative to melatonin. In open challenge with the attention span of the average viewer, the shy Amedeo with his checked shirt manages to be remembered, whether to praise him or to make fun of him. He wouldn’t be the first to start a great career starting from the stage of a talent show (before him, just to name two, the “jackal” Aurora Leone and the “gialappo” Toni Bonji). Who knows…
Gigi D’Alessio’s lookalike and other misfortunes that emerged from TikTok: rating 3.5
Every time “the web goes crazy”, an average viewer knows they have to start shaking in real terror, especially at Tu Sì Que Vales. Among the many war remnants found on TikTok, in this edition Ivan, a self-styled lookalike of Gigi D’Alessio, “stood out”. Or, more than anything, let’s take him on behalf of the whole unfortunate brood. He goes on stage and, first of all, he doesn’t remember the names of his four children. Not all, at least. Two and a half he gets them out. He has the right accent of the famous Neapolitan singer, but “I’m going strong on TikTok, everyone says I look a lot like him”. In fact, ours is very popular. And he is without any plausible explanation, considering that, even at the stage test of Tu Sì Que Vales, he does not appear capable of even hinting at a dignified playback. To paraphrase the poet, how many horrors are born like this. For the next edition, we humbly propose a moratorium on lookalikes and lip sync massacres bordering on vilification. There’s already enough caciara, have mercy!
Tonikaku, it’s a shame not to “see” his underwear again in the final: rating 8.5
He may be crazy, but he’s certainly different from them. The Japanese comedian Tonikaku represents the right level of “locura” (madness, ed.) that spices up the talent without making him ugly or annoying. Explaining his performance is not very simple, but here we are ready for the task: ours stages various poses (we see him like James Bond, footballer, volleyball player and so on) appearing completely naked at the moment of the elusive shot. But he isn’t. “Don’t worry, I’m wearing underwear!” he exclaims at every plastic mutation and the result is, for some reason, hilarious. Perhaps the first example of a comedian-acrobat, he escapes any type of label, he doesn’t speak a word of Italian, but he performs every evening, he says. We just have to find out where. Evidently misunderstood, it’s a shame not to see his underwear again in the final. Out like a pair of underwear forgotten on the drying rack in the balcony, irresistible for reasons that perhaps not even the resurrected Freud could explain. Phenomenon.
2023-11-18 23:17:00
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