More and more universities in mainland China have established official parent groups. (Schematic diagram/report photo)
In the public mind, student parent groups only reach high school vocational high school students. However, in recent years, the trend of “university official” student parent groups has emerged in mainland China. This has caused the collapse of many students who only go to university to stay away from their hometown and parents, and has also caused the group to collapse. The facilitator who serves as the administrator of the group is struggling to respond to messages. Many counselors pointed out that although there are contemporary factors behind the creation of this wave of official university parent groups, the groups should not be allowed to replace normal parent-child and parent-school communication.
According to “China News Weekly”, the news that a university in Hunan Province must have a parent group for first-year students at the end of last year ignited the social fire. Countless students from the school expressed “I am going to explode” to the parent group that was intended to facilitate publicity. “I even felt “betrayed by the school.” Other college students also left messages saying “You are not alone.”
Many students pointed out that the school’s strategy made them feel deprived of being independent adults. They continued to be monitored by their parents or family members after leaving their hometowns, and they lost the most precious freedom and autonomy of college students. Zhou Ke (pseudonym), a sophomore at Shanghai University of Finance and Economics, said that not long after the school created a parent group in the summer of 2022, he soon felt “restricted by parents and teachers.” What parents want is not to know what their children are doing, but to know what their children are doing. Why not do something.
Students felt that parent groups took away their autonomy. (Image/Pixabay)
He said that he and many others have received questions from parents such as “Why didn’t you get a scholarship?” “Why didn’t you have a good relationship with your outstanding classmates?” “Why didn’t you participate in competitions?” He bluntly said that parents asked the school to “let parents Know the student’s learning status” and “what subsidies can I apply for”, a nice change of tone.
A counselor admitted that he and his colleagues always received a large number of strange requests, and there were even some parents who made suggestions such as “separating male and female classes” and “changing guaranteed quotas” that were equivalent to intervening in school affairs. Lin Hong (pseudonym), who has 30 years of experience as a counselor and works at a university in Heilongjiang, said that these types of parents know what they want to know. When he works, he is like an “AI question and answer robot” dealing with these helicopter parents (monster parents). .
Counselors believe that parent grouping is detrimental to parent-child communication. (Image/Pexels)
Yajie (pseudonym), a counselor at the School of Finance at Capital University of Economics and Business, said that in fact, in the past, parents would set up their own groups to confirm each other’s children’s status in school, but he “does not recommend” setting up parent groups, whether private or government-run. Yajie pointed out that the most distinctive parents in the group can be divided into two categories: those with separation anxiety when their children are not around, and those with strict parents who continue to push their children to achieve academic results.
Yajie revealed that although parents of students born after 1995 and 2000 are better educated than the previous generation, they believe that they have the say in their children’s education, or they want to copy their own successful experience, but this often leads to the failure of their own children. . He believes that the emergence of monster parents has indirectly led to the birth of official groups, and counselors have become part of the school’s “responsibility sharing”. However, parents’ comparative and anticipatory mentality is detrimental to students’ development, autonomy, and parent-child communication. He calls on parents to personally participate. Instead of getting involved and learning about children’s college life through groups.
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2024-01-28 11:07:56
