Masculinity can be a positive or negative force in society. Although sometimes, it can actually be useful, it may also become destructive. When masculinity becomes toxic and harmful to individuals and their health, it affects everyone involved. Toxic masculinity can ruin relationships and lead to many negative consequences, including violence and abuse.
Men can take a stand against toxic masculinity by fighting traditional gender stereotypes. A recent study has shown that there are many negative effects of being identified with this type of manliness, but one major problem is how it affects society, in general, even though some people may not see themselves as victims in their daily lives (or if they do then surely these events wouldn’t make sense).
While toxic masculinity obviously creates problems for others, it also negatively affects the toxic person themselves. Traditional gender stereotypes imply that “real” men should be stoic and strong. As a result, many men keep their emotional problems to themselves and don’t get the so-needed help.
A 2015 national survey showed almost 9% of men experienced symptoms of depression and anxiety daily but less than half of them have talked to a mental health professional or taken medication for their symptoms.
When left untreated, symptoms of many mental health disorders may get worse so getting professional help is rather a necessity. You don’t even need to commute to a therapist’s office because video chat therapy allows you to get the necessary help and support from home.
What is toxic masculinity?
Toxic masculinity is a set of behaviors and values that are connected to a traditional outdated understanding of gender roles. Even though this term appeared not so long ago, it basically describes all the traditional stereotypes about men that hurt both men and those around them.
For instance, toxic masculinity often equates weakness with femininity, and this ties into the concept of misogyny. In both cases, whether it be being viewed as feminine or weak, such traits are considered negative by those who hold these beliefs for what they call “normal.”
Traits of toxic masculinity
Masculinity should not be confused with toxicity. Toxic masculinity is the belief that “proper” manliness consists of traits like aggression, hostility, and hyper-resilience which can create problems for both men themselves and those around them.
Here’s what toxic masculinity may look like.
- A person may use aggressive behavior in an attempt to demonstrate mental or physical toughness.
- By treating your feelings and emotions as weaknesses, you may feel like a burden to others or even avoid them altogether.
- Homophobia, transphobia, and other versions of discrimination often get reinforced by toxic masculine stereotypes.
Examples of toxic masculinity
Harmful masculinity can easily be noticed in everyday conversations, showing up as subtle assumptions that you might not immediately realize. For example, some may say that a man should be able to lift more weight at the gym or have more sexual partners than he does because of his gender.
Such ideas are harmful and wrong because they promote misogyny and stop men from feeling comfortable in their own skin. Toxic masculine traits show themselves within society through common phrases people say without realizing what those words really mean.
Effects of toxic masculinity
Toxic masculinity is an issue that affects both the individual and those they interact with.
Effects on society
The idea that “boys will be boys” excuses men from taking responsibility is not only wrong, but it also contravenes our society’s expectations for how we should behave.
When women are asked questions about their behaviors after an assault, assuming that the incident was in some way their fault or could have been avoided, this is also an example of stereotypes that treat male violence as something natural and normal.
Masculinity has been traditionally associated with domination and aggression, and such understanding impacts both those who were born men and identify as men.
Effects on health
Toxic masculinity is also one of the issues that affect men’s health because it teaches men that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Researchers found that there was a clear connection between the “adherence to traditional masculine norms and depression, anxiety, hostile behaviors,” as well as other adverse mental health outcomes.
How to deal with toxic masculinity
Toxic masculinity is a difficult subject, and overcoming it in yourself may take a lot of time and effort. However, you can break through the stigma of this harmful culture by speaking out against it and encouraging other men to do so. You may face criticism, but it shouldn’t stop you on your way to self-improvement and healthy relationships.
Consider asking yourself questions like:
- Have you ever denied yourself something because society told us it’s not appropriate for men?
- Have you judged others who don’t fit gender stereotypes as being feminine or not manly enough?
- Are you afraid that others will think that you’re not masculine enough?
Toxic masculinity is deeply ingrained in our society, and thinking about how you may personally lean into it can be a step forward. Masculinity is a topic that many people are familiar with, but the traditional and toxic understanding of it can affect anyone.
Final thoughts
Even those who find themselves educating others on the dangers of rape culture or actively supporting gender equality did not begin where they are right now. Overcoming toxic masculinity requires time and patience in order to understand new perspectives and change old habits.
Fortunately, you can always ask for help. Licensed therapists can help you figure out what stops you from becoming a better man and provide the necessary support. Thanks to online therapy platforms like Calmerry, you can talk about your emotional problems, whether it be depression, anxiety, stress, or anything else, with no need to leave the comfort of your home. You can also use relationship counseling to learn to be a better partner.
