BVIeach week, Geert Hoste (63) gives his own unique and ironic view of the world in ‘Bye All’. Featured this week: the Tour, ‘Barbie’, ‘Oppenheimer’ and smelly garbage cans.
The Tour de France is over. The riders can go crazy in post-Tour criteriums, but for the viewers it’s kicking the habit. Because stopping abruptly is unhealthy, my wife will replace Renaat Schotte in the living room between four and six. She will list all winners of Liège-Bastogne-Liège and Gent-Wevelgem in chronological order, with the time differences. From 1923 ‘in the year of the Lord’. After every deceased cyclist she will sigh ‘blissfully’, as Renaat so piously does. She will then give all the names of the churches the riders have passed through and list the lives and miracles of all the saints and the ‘blessed’ age at which they died. By way of appreciation, just like José De Cauwer, I will occasionally confirm with: ‘up to and including, up to and including’.
Two leftovers from the period when the USA and plastic were going to save the world
Geert Hoste
The yellow, green, white and the bulbs of Tour make way for the pink. The newspapers exchange Jonas, Tadej and Wout for Barbie, Camille and Princess Delphine. Because a striking amount of pink ink flows. Pink is the new black. What I’ve already learned about the Barbie movie? Don’t be blinded by the appearance of this successful woman, the idol doll Barbie (64) is above all a champion of women’s rights and emancipation. She awaits Oscars and a Nobel Prize in Economics. The Nobel Peace Prize goes to Oppenheimer, “the father of the atomic bomb.” He too receives his canonization in the cinema, while the corn softly explodes in the background in the popcorn machine. Barbie and the atomic bomb. Two leftovers from the period when the USA and plastic were going to save the world. It is a pity that Renaat and José do not comment on it.
Rat infestation
Cucumber season has arrived. 1 + 1 free. The newspapers fill the gaps with messages such as ‘How can you prevent your rubbish bin from smelling because of the heat’. Let me tell you the answer: rinse out your garbage can. That I never thought of that! And then the tip of 1 million: keep fish and meat leftovers in the freezer until the day of the garbage collection. We have to wait for the newsflash that thawed fish heads accidentally ended up in the sushi during Tomorrowland and meat waste in wrap. Revelers started hallucinating and thought they had taken the wrong pills. Only when it turned out that the rat infestation at Boom’s festival campsite had suddenly been resolved did the alarm bells start ringing. The beasts had not died but fled. To Reet, I suppose.
Read also:
COLUMN. From the secret diaries of Geert Hoste: “Fortunately the politician is ‘formerly known as sos’”
COLUMN. Geert Hoste: “Woke has not yet passed Ghent”
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2023-07-30 12:58:20
#COLUMN #Geert #Hoste #Barbie #atomic #bomb #leftovers #period #USA #plastic #save #world
