Lise Goossens is co-owner of the Ghent café Blond.
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A bit of context: on October 1, ‘liberation night’, we, as owners of café Blond, decided, after several warnings, to stop the party and to put all cismen at the door. The cause was a flood of toxic masculinity, a daily fare of misogyny, trans and queer phobia in the form of pawing, inappropriate comments, insults and intimidation of FLINTA* individuals. Contrary to what you would have the average Fleming believe, FLINTA* is not a minority group. It’s the majority, just count.
What followed was a media storm, a discussion about discrimination, politicians who duly stood up for the fragile position of the white cisman. No one elaborated on the reason for our decision. Patriarchal oppression and established rape culture are old news. The result was more transphobia, more misogyny. Threats, hate speech and a lawsuit over our heads were the result.
Do not think that we had necessarily expected more from our Flemish MPs, our own Ghent Alderman for Equal Opportunities, all media channels and the conservative, understanding narrow-mindedness of the ‘normal people’. We have known for some time that Flanders is not ready for self-reflection.
The woke police wonder whether the asterisk in FLINTA* stands for people who ‘experience their sexuality through their star’. The woke police say they do not want to drink pints with ‘those janettes’. ‘Can Eddy Demarez enter Blonde? Maybe he’s a little petty and he’s FLINTA* after all?’ And maybe Niels Destadsbader too, because he makes kutmuziek‘. “All men who do not identify as male are welcome in that cafe, except for the men who identify as non-male.” ‘Kamal Kharmach, that’s a Moroccan, he’s not allowed in anyway’.
Can’t we laugh anymore? Of course. If the ubiquitous problem of oppression, constant harassment on rape culture addressed and we evolve towards a culture of consent, of anti-racism, of empathy and equality, to a society where FLINTA* people are listened to and critical masculinity is welcomed and encouraged, future generations may also have a good laugh at how it used to be.
For now we can only say that we are again deeply disappointed. We are shamelessly laughed at on public broadcasting and our struggle is ridiculed. This kind of humor is disgusting and hurtful. It is grist to the mill of the structural mechanism of racism, misogyny, trans and queer phobia. So that you understand for sure: experience shows that insulting us in this way on national television leads to more insults, more exclusion, more discrimination, more insecurity. Say I told you.
May I point out your own Diversity Charter. Everyone is different, everyone is welcome’, which reads: ‘We show what connects us and want to build bridges between individuals, groups, generations and communities. In this way we contribute to a harmonious and pluralistic society in which everyone feels at home’ and a little further: ‘The VRT assumes that everyone who works for us takes this vision for granted’.
The choice is yours: ‘Everyone is different, everyone is welcome’ or ‘Everyone is famous’? Take that video offline or burn your charter.
While you think about it, may we kindly ask you to leave us alone from now on?
Lise Goossens (those/them), co-owner of café Blond in Ghent
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