they chose a “solo” PMA

In her vast living room, this great traveler, several years living in Overseas France, opens a very personal red notebook which recounts her journey. On a double page, you can see the copenhagen metro map. The Frenchwoman carefully wrote a list of hotels near the clinic there and scribbled a handful of words in Danish – “Hej!”, good morning – without forgetting the conversion into euros of several amounts in Danish krone.

Before we get started in this “adventure”, Hélène had to contact a copenhagen clinic, to carry out a battery of medical examinations assessing her fertility. Then comes an interview, by Skype, with a midwife from the Danish center. She warns her that the success rate for an insemination is low: 30%. “She asks me if I feel isolated, if I am accompanied, why I made this decision”, remembers in a soft voice the future mother.

Hélène, preferring to entrust the clinic with the task of finding her donor, submits several physical criteria to her. An impossible practice in France: here, only the doctors select the sperm donor, with nevertheless an objective of resemblance between the child and his legal father, specifies Release. Here, any gamete donor is also anonymous. Hélène chose Denmark because the donations are “open” there: her child can meet, if he wishes, his sire when he reaches the age of majority.

Everything is ready for a first trip. Hélène knows that an insemination costs an average of 1,000 euros, excluding travel, accommodation and food costs. The young woman, very thoughtful, saved for three tries, and even moved to save. In the middle of winter, the 30-year-old makes a first attempt. On the spot, she multiplies the ovulation tests, until the moment of the “go” of the clinic. In “three minutes”, the midwife places a small catheter, then inserts a micro-dose of the donation using a syringe. The next two weeks, the waiting weeks, are “Gruesome”. “There is fatigue, chest pain for 15 days because I was taking progesterone. Then the pregnancy test arrives and it is negative”, relates Hélène.

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Very quickly, the native of Guérande (Loire-Atlantique) refocused on her choice. She surrounds herself with new doctors for better chances of success. “Given your age, this is necessarily in vitro fertilization” ; “Wouldn’t you have a friend to help you out?”, she hears, still hurt. The patient regains confidence with a more caring specialist. Every two to three days, she multiplies blood tests and ultrasounds, waiting for the right time for a new test. “When it’s good, I call the clinic. She says ‘come tomorrow’. I ask for an RTT and go back and forth during the day.” Airport, metro, insemination, metro, airport. Hélène returns home late, exhausted. Her period arrives two weeks later.

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The third, however, will be the right one. “Pregnancy test day, POSITIVE!”, we read in his red notebook. “It’s magic, a feeling of total accomplishment”, confides, moved and all smiles, the pregnant woman. Since then, the future mother has been preparing a future for two. “I want this child more than anything. And I think I’ve been ready for a while.”

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