As children grow up, what parents do to them can greatly influence and shape the child. Therefore, parents must be very careful in front of children, one of which is when talking to children.
What a parent says to a child is likely to continue with the child, be it for several months or even for life. So it’s important to always be aware of what we say to children.
Below are some forbidden words that parents should not say to their children because they can have a bad influence on their children.
1. “Don’t be too lazy!”
Even if you think the child’s behavior is excessive, labeling “dramatic,” “lanky,” or the like when the child is trying to express themselves can have serious long-term consequences.
Children rely on their parents to learn how to manage emotions. So if parents give the impression that their child’s feelings are ridiculous, they will grow up to become adults who believe their feelings are not important.
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2. “For example, your brother!”
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Sibling competition is a part of growing up in many families. However, if parents are actively discussing this among their children, then the harms can outweigh the positives.
Telling a child to be like a sibling can cause a child to believe that they are not good enough. Worse, it can also lead to conflict between siblings.
Also Read: Must Be Careful, These Are The 5 Right Ways To Deal With Angry Children
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3. “There’s nothing to be afraid of”
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Everyone has their own fears and worries. Telling children that they shouldn’t be afraid of something can be an invalid experience.
By saying this, you are not only ignoring their feelings, you are sending the message that something is wrong with them. Therefore, don’t tell children not to be afraid.
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4. “You did well, but you could do better”
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Remember, any compliment followed by a “but” should be avoided as it takes away the meaning of the compliment itself. Appreciating every achievement, no matter how small, is one way to motivate children to continue achieving.
Using the word “but” will make children feel that they haven’t really made their parents proud and are not doing enough things, which of course will give the child more negative feelings. It is enough to say that the child is doing well enough and that the parents are proud.
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5. “It’s not that big of a deal” or “just like that”
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It is the worst sentence parents can say to their children when they are upset. You need to know, saying this makes children feel their feelings are invalid and makes them reluctant to talk openly to you.
After all, children should feel comfortable communicating their feelings. Instead of saying “it’s no big deal” you should say, “here, tell mom / dad why you feel this way.” Saying this will help you understand your child and let them know you are there if they need to talk.
Even though they may seem trivial, words can have a big impact on a child’s development. So, learn not to talk when you’re emotional and think twice before saying anything to your child.
Also Read: 6 Tips for Building Honest Character in Children from Early on
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