Therapist Jana Neuwerthová Šmýdová about introverts

On your blog Silatrovertu.cz you have an article with a headline that says it’s good to be an intellectual. Why do you think that?

I think it’s time for more than just introverts to realize that there are many benefits to being an introvert. They are thoughtful, stable, compassionate people, they have the prerequisites to achieve what they set their minds to. I personally work with highly successful people who are introverts. They may not need to tell the world that they are successful.

According to Instagram alone, it’s clear that those who like to show up and talk will earn more. It’s not about the money, but you know what I’m getting at…

I don’t know of people out there earning more, maybe in some area, but not in the overall market. In IT and other fields, introverts have more options with their natural preferences. I can still imagine stock markets, where it’s not about show and talk either. And there are definitely more such areas. Overall, I feel that our society does not value introverts enough. We need to start changing the idea that being an introvert is somehow less valuable. No. It’s just different. There are many pros and cons – just like the outdoor setting.

How many introverts are there in the population?

I know of two sources, one says that a third are introverts. In the second, he says that 30-50 percent of them. So it makes sense to me that about a third of people are apathetic. And that is a very high number. Introverted people often feel lonely, but data shows that there are definitely not a few of them.

Are there people who are somewhere in between? How does it manifest itself? For example, don’t they mind being in company, but then they also like being alone?

Yes, they are called centroverts or ambiverts. My understanding is that they can draw from both positions. The difference between an introvert and an extrovert is in the way they use their energy. Introverts only, extroverts among people. So the people in the middle can do both. Even introverts can be happy in company, but then they need time to recharge their energy alone. It is not that introverts avoid society, although it is common that they do not seek too much company.

Some people are comfortable in separation

Introverts often face stereotypes and prejudices…

Yes, there are a lot of these prejudices. For example, if someone is shy, it means they are an introvert. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Shyness is a fear of communicating with strangers, which may appear in extroverts. It also happens to introverts that they have to defend themselves that they do not have psychological problems. When someone is sidelined, it doesn’t have to be a mental issue. Some people are okay with that.

What is not known about introverts, but should be?

Their need for independence is also a source of their strength. They don’t always need other people to have fun. They can handle themselves and their interests.

I’m more of an introvert, but I’d like to change that because it hurts me at work. Is this even possible or will it be a pain for me because I have to fake being an outsider?

There is no need for false extroversion. Basically, it doesn’t even work. If you’re draining your energy alone, you can’t adapt to recharge in the company of people. The other things are skills and like any other skill you can learn them if you really want to. Introverts are presenters, actors, successful business people. This is another stereotype that introverts have to deal with. Yes, communication is better for extroverts, it’s in their nature. Introverts are also good communicators, befitting their introverted disposition. I have tested it on hundreds of people now.

How can an introvert learn to communicate better and present his ideas in front of others?

An entrant must learn to overcome the fear of critical evaluation. It is good to understand where this fear came from. It usually happens in childhood or adolescence, when he is forced by his surroundings to communicate with other people, at times when he does not feel like it. And with this compulsion he gets the message that something is wrong with him. And then he goes on with it even into adult life.

It is also important to say that in an introvert’s brain, thinking takes a longer route. Therefore, introverts cannot answer questions immediately, and it is not their fault. They have to think about their answers. It is good to be aware of this and arrange a longer time to formulate a response.

Fear of critical evaluation

Couldn’t the fact that a person says he’s an introvert also be an excuse in a way to not get into uncomfortable situations and get out of his comfort zone?

It can be. Because when someone wants to move, they move. And yes, you have to go beyond your comfort zone. However, it is a gradual process. I always say that if it is fifty a day, a person “settles” in new situations, making sure that nothing bad is at stake. And if it goes half a percent for a long time, in a few months it’s a noticeable difference. It’s important not to want big results right away. It is step by step. Sometimes more step by step.

How can introverts improve their abilities?

By letting go of the fear of being judged by others. Because introverts tend to exaggerate and emphasize things that are not usually there. When they learn to overcome their fear, nothing can stop them from succeeding.

Is there something that introverts lack? I am referring to a survey which showed that they would like to have more friends…

Yes, introverts would like to have more friends in their circle with whom they could establish deeper relationships. They are not interested in superficiality, they like to talk about things in depth, they need the conversation to make sense to them. Introverts are very social in their own way, but their friendliness manifests itself in a different way.

So what is the main strength of introverts?

Their attempt to get to the heart of the matter. That is very valuable to me. As a rule, introverts do not see this as an advantage, because it comes naturally to them. Their rich inner world brings new ideas, insights that are beneficial and useful to the world. It’s a shame they’re afraid to talk to them out loud. Therefore, getting rid of the fear of assessment is one of the main steps on the way to success.