Polynesia is experiencing a second pandemic in parallel with that of Covid-19. The major difference being that it affects exclusively his youth. It has been almost two decades since the first cases, then minor, had been noticed. Today, you have understood, it is a question of what no scientific expert has yet officially named, but that for the purposes of this post, we will call the «Blonde tint».
So if over the past 20 years we have regularly come face to face with a teenager with bleached hair with hydrogen peroxide, no one was overly worried. This is undoubtedly the cause of the exponential explosion of cases which led to the very last worrying mutations. It’s hard to blame anyone, no one has a monopoly on good taste. Vidal Sassoon, Jaques Dessange, Jean-Louis David or Franck Provost, if they had crossed paths with them, would obviously have been struck down by a sudden spontaneous burnout in the face of this real hair loss.
But you see, the «Blonde tint» has indeed engendered variants, clearly more worrying than making fashionable with us which is totally has been in the rest of the world. The first, which had been timidly identified, led the infected to include the sounds “ere” and “to” arbitrarily and randomly several times in each of their speeches, regardless of the subject. Nobody flinched. The second, triggered a frenzy of compulsive JBL boombox purchases, where behind these initials it does not mean “Jeunesse Bien Ugly”, while frankly, even hordes of kids stroll in the streets of the capital with their music thoroughly, not caring about noise pollution and other annoyances they could cause, that would have justified it. Once again we mostly let it happen. The third variant was already much more spectacular and should have caused more reaction. It is the one that manifested itself through gatherings, around these famous Boomboxes then networked, where we saw the participants encourage each other with great reinforcement of beastly howls to launch into frenetic dances worthy of disarticulated puppets. We could have accommodated ourselves without batting an eyelid to these strange choreographies where the arms are thrown in all directions while leaning his chest back and forth while the legs seem to lead their lives in complete independence. But, what should have really sparked the ears is when boys or girls started to shake their behind outrageously as if the salvation to overcome the evil that was eating them could come from another form… d ‘inoculation.
And finally, the latest mutation to date, the one that frightens the most, is the one that manifests itself in opposing packs of peroxidized fake blondes who on Wednesdays fight in the middle of the street with their bare hands and even begin to take out the knives.
I have good news and bad news. The first is that in fact we already have the vaccine, the RAP, for “Restoration of Parental Authority”; but the other – is that unfortunately it will first be necessary to overcome another disease much more pernicious, “Parental Resignation”.
Podcast: Download
– .
