The Tear Block: Supporting Breast Cancer Patients and Breaking Taboos

Ellen Dreezens (l) and Mariëtte van Hoof with the tear block (photo: Alice van der Plas). The aftermath of breast cancer is not easy for Lilian Spaans (photo: Alice van der Plas). The tear block about breast cancer (photo: Alice van der Pee).Next

1/3 Ellen Dreezens (l) and Mariëtte van Hoof with the tear block (photo: Alice van der Plas).

A bottle of bath foam that fell while showering changed the life of 51-year-old Lilian Spaans from Helmond. As she picked up the bottle, she felt something in the side of her chest. It turned out to be cancer. Lilian has been declared cured for the time being, but the aftermath is not to be missed. A tear block has now appeared to support patients.

The crack block is an initiative of Mariëtte van Hooff from Helmond and Ellen Dreezens from ‘s-Hertogenbosch. Mariëtte is a supervisor in a Helmond drop-in center for people with cancer. But people can’t always go there, so Mariëtte wanted to provide an accessible source of support. For example, if you are worrying at two o’clock in the morning. The block looks like a tear-off calendar and is full of colorful illustrations, encouraging words and insights.

Mariëtte often hears that the period after cancer is the toughest. “The moment your hair comes back, everyone thinks you’re back.” But in practice it is often disappointing. Lilian no longer recognizes herself. She has lost her long blonde hair forever. “I have now dyed my hair blue. I also wanted to be crazy, but I still don’t recognize myself.” It’s hard for Lilian. “You really want to participate again and be normal,” says Mariëtte.

“I have no fuse at all.”

Ellen Dreezens is a grief coach. “If you’ve had cancer, you’ve lost a lot of things in a row. Yourself, your health, your relationships, your work.” Lilian has to take medication that immediately puts her in menopause. “That is very intense. I sometimes call them ‘grouch medicines’. I don’t have a short fuse. I have no fuse at all.” Lilian suffered from dry skin so much that her hands and feet broke down. “It was so bad I couldn’t walk anymore.”

As angry as Lilian can get now, she was so down-to-earth when she was diagnosed five years ago. “I didn’t burst into tears. The nurse thought I wasn’t dealing with it well, but I was relieved that it could be cured. I think you should understand that everyone deals with it in their own way.” The tear block provides support for the sometimes powerless and inept environment of someone with cancer.

“Cancer is Russian roulette and I’m lucky.”

On one of the pages there is a jar of Nivea. “Don’t fill in for someone else,” says Mariëtte. “Don’t assume that cancer always progresses in a certain way. People who have experienced the same thing sometimes tell someone else how they must feel.” The words ‘fight’ or ‘fighting cancer’ are often not well received either. “I didn’t fight at all,” says Lilian. “Cancer is Russian roulette and I’m lucky.”

With the tear block, Mariëtte and Ellen also want to break taboos surrounding cancer and its aftermath. Lilian lost her job after two years of sick leave. “I do have concerns about my finances. People are also very quick to judge. But just for once, feel how I feel on a bad day.” People often feel less attractive after cancer or do not feel like having sex due to medication. “You just get all those intense things,” says Mariëtte.

Mariëtte van Hooff and Ellen Dreezens hope that their tear block will encourage people with cancer and their environment. “Your mind is not always ready to read an entire book about this. So there are 100 things in it that are no longer than 150 words.” The tear block will be presented on October 3 and is available online, among other places.

2023-09-22 06:00:42
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