October 22, 2023 – Palestinians take a last look at their loved ones and collapse on the ground, groaning in pain, as a stream of dead and wounded, including several children, arrive at Al-Aqsa Martyrs Hospital in Deir al-Balah, central Gaza. Some parents have written their children’s names on their legs so they can identify them in case they are killed or lost. Israeli colonial forces continue to pound the besieged enclave for the 17th day, killing at least 5,000 Palestinians and wounding more than 15,000. With no more room in morgues and hospitals, bodies are piled up outside. Palestinians try to rescue survivors and pull bodies from the rubble after Israeli airstrikes hit buildings near Al-Aqsa Martyrs Hospital, killing and wounding several people – Photo: Mohammed Zaanoun/ Activestills
Par Malak Hijazi
Our hopes for a ceasefire are being used against us. Every time, politicians make statements, mediators shuttle between capitals, headlines promise a breakthrough, and then it all falls apart. And every time, my hopes are shattered.
I have lost count of the number of times I have clung to the hope of a ceasefire, only to see it reduced to dust. The war in Gaza continues as the summer of 2024 draws to a close, and the promise of an end to all our suffering increasingly seems like a cruel illusion.
Whenever the media mention new negotiations, I feel a glimmer of hope – a small, fragile flame ignites within me: maybe, just maybe, this time will be different. But my heart, deep inside, knows the pattern all too well.
Since time stopped in October and uncertainty reigned, my life seemed to be on hold. I made a list of what I would do as soon as the war ended: reconnect with my loved ones in southern Gaza who I cannot see now, take a deep breath of freedom, imagine what awaits us and mourn those who lost their lives.
In Gaza, for now, we do not have the leisure to grieve properly. Our days are punctuated by a merciless routine: running from place to place to escape the bombs, listening to the news, looking for water and food, and gathering wood for fire.
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Again and again, the familiar pattern plays out: negotiations fail, sides blame each other, and hope slips through my fingers like sand.
Every month we see the same scenario: politicians make statements, mediators shuttle between capitals, and headlines announce a breakthrough. There is some progress, then a significant step forward, but Israel refuses to make any concessions, and everything falls apart.
A little hope, then massacres
The people of Gaza are victims of incessant massacres. But they are also victims of the fact that their very hope is used as a weapon against them. In the shadow of negotiations, Israel unleashes its most brutal massacres.
During these ten months of genocide, there were countless moments when my family and I clung to hope, only to have it shattered by another massacre. Again and again, our hopes were betrayed, mine and those of everyone I know.
After the first ceasefire in November, there was talk of extend and end the war. I felt a brief comfort, but it was soon destroyed.
Just a week after the ceasefire was broken, I experienced the worst day of my life. The Israeli army invaded my home, forcing my family and me to leave in the middle of the night, without a phone or lights. I was terrified, especially when an Israeli soldier threatened to kill us. I was terrified, tears streaming down my face as we moved forward.
We finally found refuge in a hospital, where I slept on a filthy floor, before going to a relative’s house. A month later, we returned to an unrecognizable neighborhood. Our house had been partially destroyed, and many families had lost theirs entirely.
In March, my aunt called us, convinced that the war would end before Ramadan, according to the news she had. She was happy and hopeful, and told us about her plans for after the war and the dishes she was going to cook.
But shortly after, the Israeli army invaded for the second time.al-Shifa hospital and the surrounding neighborhood, where my aunt lived. She was locked up in her house for three days, in the middle of Ramadan, without water or food, terrified by the noise of the tanks that were blindly bombing everything around them.
When we called her, she was crying, feeling that death was near. The Israeli army eventually invaded her home, forcing her, her children and the neighbors to move on foot south, on empty stomachs, walking over the bodies of the dead.
With US support, Israelis foil the umpteenth possibility of a ceasefire
In May 2024, Hamas announced that it was ready to accept a ceasefire proposed by U.S. President Joe Biden. For a brief moment, people believed the horrors of war were finally coming to an end.
I remember that day vividly. The displaced families, sheltering in a nearby school, were shouting with joy and celebrating, so happy that the end of their terrible suffering was near. The neighbors were crying with joy and my little nieces were jumping for joy.
But this joy was short-lived. The very next day, Israel launched an invasion of Rafah, dashing the brief hope that the prospect of an end to hostilities had raised.
Each round of negotiations is accompanied by what is called a ” military pressure ” increased pressure on Hamas, which often results in the killing of more Palestinians. Israel employs a strategy of committing war crimes and massacres to derail negotiations, such as burn the tents displaced persons, kill more than 200 Palestinians to free four Israeli captives, or kill 100 Palestinians during dawn prayers.
Israel claims that these crimes are necessary to impose its conditions for a ceasefire. But what are these conditions? Israel does not wish really the end of the war.
He is only looking for a brief pause to reorganize before returning to kill more Palestinians.
Israel wants to control the corridors of Philadelphia and Netzarim to dominate Palestinian lives indefinitely, blocking access to food and medicine, increasing travel restrictions and once again making life in Gaza unlivable. And the occupation regime still prevents Palestinians from returning to their homes in northern Gaza.
When our hope is used against us
After each failed ceasefire negotiations, I wonder about the goal of the ongoing war: What does Israel really want? A regional war? The complete eradication of Palestinians from Gaza? The forced displacement of Palestinians to Egypt? What plans is it secretly hatching? I find myself overanalyzing every statement by Israeli leaders and American presidential candidates.
Our lives seem to be controlled by criminal psychopaths.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has said there will be no no withdrawal Israeli military forces from Gaza. What does this mean? Does it mean that they can invade our city whenever they want, killing everyone in their path and destroying every remaining house? And for how long? Two, three or even ten years?
Will we be under constant threat, will we have to live in fear of being killed or injured for the rest of our lives, if we are lucky enough to survive?
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The Democrats’ decision toallocate $3.5 billion more to Israel after Kamala Harris called for an end to the war is remarkably hypocritical. This double-dealing exposes the entirety of America’s deceit. How many more children will die? How many more homes will be destroyed? How many more dreams will be shattered?
When Donald Trump supports The expansion of Israel’s territories, what does this entail? What lands will be seized? Will we be forcibly relocated to the Sinai desert?
The US and Israel both want military victory and political gain, all at our expense. But no one seems to care about rebuilding Gaza.
Yet our children need to go back to school, and we need universities and hospitals. While we struggle to reclaim our lives and restore our infrastructure, the focus remains on political and military objectives, with little regard for our basic needs and prospects.
As the first anniversary of this war approaches, I have come to realize that these ceasefire negotiations are just another weapon in this war.
They dangle the promise of ending this holocaust before us, only to shatter it when we reach out. I hear the world talking about the need for a ceasefire, I hear the speeches and I see the headlines, but here on the ground, nothing changes.
The massacres are becoming more and more horrible, and the innocent people who dreamed of an end to the war are dying.
I wonder what hope those who were killed had. Like me, they were making plans for the end of the war. But what else was there to do? Even the drowning clings to the hope of a lifeline.
What keeps me going through life is hope, and what breaks me every time is also hope.
August 25, 2024 – Mondoweiss – Translation : Chronicle of Palestine – Dominique Muselet
