The unfinished is now being completed after all. Marko Arnautović, the sloppy genius, the world footballer without a world career, climbs the football olympus (a bit unexpectedly) shortly before the footballer’s pension. While Ronaldo and Neymar are already sweating in the sporting desert in Saudi Arabia, Arnautović is moving to Inter Milan at the age of 34.
Andreas Herzog had already predicted it in 2010. Arnautović will achieve great things because he is “by far the best footballer that has walked around in the last 30 years”. Prophet Herzog was laughed at for 13 years, and the local envious society had long since made other bets: the cheeky brat would end up trotting around overweight in Vienna’s lower leagues. Instead, it now becomes biblical. Arnautović experiences the story of the prodigal son. In his early 20s he played for Inter, but the super talent was regularly late for training, had the borrowed Bentley of his colleague Samuel Eto’o stolen by thieves and was suspended. His coach José Mourinho described him as a great guy “with a kid’s attitude”. In the end, it was only enough for three short appearances and a Champions League title in his CV, to which he had of course contributed nothing. But with the trophy he celebrated as if he had won it alone.
Arnautović is “not good enough for a top club,” said Toni Polster. “He hasn’t done anything yet,” explained Hans Krankl. The greats of the domestic kick were bothered by the hairstyles and behavior of the would-be superstar, who only appeared for medium-sized companies such as Bremen, Enschede, Stoke City, West Ham, Shanghai or Bologna – but strutted around there as if he were Cristiano Ronaldo himself. For Arnautović, however, there was always another benchmark: the entertainment barometer – how much do you enjoy watching a footballer play?
Arnautović belongs to a dying breed. Today, long-distance runners and fighting machines dominate football. Arnautović is one of the last solo entertainers who prefer the heel trick to the hundred meter sprint. He would prefer to shove the ball over the heads of his opponents in a continuous loop, tunnel them or plant them in some other way. In contrast to other ball artists, however, he is not a filigree little man. Arnautović is a beefy man, 1.92 meters tall and weighing a good 95 kilograms. If he plays the ball through the opponent’s legs, he pushes past him like an ICE. His nickname is Astronautović because there’s something galactic about him, this full-body tattooed guy with thighs like Hulk Hogan, the Terminator of Austrian football. Before him, the local kick only knew folksy men with mustaches like Herbert Prohaska or model students like Andreas Ivanschitz, who took private piano lessons. Arnautović, on the other hand, comes across as daredevil as a ghetto rapper, a bad boy in bling-bling style.
“The boss in the precinct”
He grew up in a high-rise estate in Vienna-Floridsdorf. Father Serb, mother Austrian. “We were street boys,” he told Datum magazine. In his neighborhood it was about “who was the boss in the district”. This habit continues to this day. Sometimes he foolishly pushes himself off his pedestal with it. He once described his Werder Bremen club as a “juice shop”. In interviews, he spoke frankly about the benefits of silicone breasts. He explained to a German police officer who wanted to fine him: “I earn so much, I can buy your life.” The picture of the megalomaniac kicker was drawn. “I’ve always done what was in my head,” he once said, “and of course that was the mistake.” He doesn’t have a warm relationship with journalists who enjoy spreading these missteps. Sitting across from them, he signals contempt with one eye and fixes them penetratingly with the other. His fierce defense mechanism was often resented, resulting in harsh criticism. “I often make an ant out of an elephant,” explained the man, who would certainly never call himself a mosquito.
His football life could be success story, drama and comedy in one act. To this day it seems as if every successful game goes to his head. Then you can assume that in the next game he will play the ball through the opponent’s legs again, but then, blinded by his genius, will forget the hardship of the defection. “You are three times terrible and twice brilliant”, Christoph Grissemann joked in 2021 in “Welcome Austria” – and hit a sore spot. In fact, Arnautović plays well more often than badly. How things are going for him is best seen in Arnautović himself. On a good day he prances across the field. On a bad one, you’ll see him cursing around every corner. Everyone should then notice that he can do better, so he throws himself down demonstratively, bangs his fists on the lawn, imitates his own actions or kicks an advertising gang. Arnautović is always the center of attention – in good times and bad.
Arnautović has earned stubborn critics, such as ex-team player Peter Pacult. “We sell it as the superstar,” he criticized a year ago. So far, Arnautović has only played “at Stoke City, West Ham, Werder Bremen and in China below”.
It seems unfair to measure Arnautović against media expectations (especially in a country where world footballers are in short supply). He has featured in the world’s top leagues, playing in Germany, England and Italy (he scored an impressive 15 goals for Bologna in the 2021/2022 season). In the national team he is the record man anyway: He has played 108 international matches (more than anyone else) and scored 34 goals (only Polster is ahead of him with 44 goals). Ex-striker Pacult (24 internationals, one goal) is not convinced. “For how he’s sold, he didn’t shoot us to a World Cup or an EM.”
easy Come Easy Go
Arnautović almost shot the national team into the quarter-finals at the EM 2021 (against the eventual European champions Italy). But he was a few millimeters offside and the goal was disallowed. This reflects his career, in which he always seemed to feel a little like Donald Duck: easy to win, easy to lose. That was a good thing to keep in mind at the European Championship. At first he was not quite fit, but returned to the team quarters in the golden Rolls-Royce, then scored the 3-1 win over North Macedonia, but insulted an opponent so badly that UEFA banned him for a game.
Today he presents himself as a refined family man who takes care of his wife and two daughters, refuses nightlife and gives everything on the pitch. In Bologna he became a goal guarantor. On the occasion of his return, Inter Milan even shot a small commercial suitable for Hollywood. Arnautović can be seen as an astronaut in space, who distanced himself from his (inter)family, went astray and now returns home purified. He was once “a hot-headed kid,” he explained. Now he finally wants to “lift a trophy”. Inter coach Simone Inzaghi appreciates older semesters. Arnautović is “a physically impressive and technically talented player who is equally talented with both feet,” it said in a broadcast. In his debut against AC Monza a week ago, he promptly showed his skills and made it 2-0 with a massive body deception.
After that, Arnautović didn’t run to the scorer to congratulate him, no: he (after all, the Argentine world champion Lautaro Martínez) rushed to the waiting Arnautović and congratulated the assist provider.
2023-08-26 11:00:46
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