Maybe he was babbling in French or driving the shoes on a rally. I was about two years old, and Dad stepped on my head. Later I learned that the white man steps on the heads of the brunettes. When I saw the photo, my stepsister would tell me that she was drunk. But every time Dad scolds me for anything, he stomps on the ground and leaves me petrified.
When I was ten years old, they found a murmur in my heart. The teacher noticed it to me: I was so anxious and enraptured that I sighed. But I think that as a baby I had a heart attack: it was in the first electrical storm of my life, upon my arrival. Whenever there were storms, Dad would go out on the balcony to watch them.
I think my amnesia started that night when, according to a definite memory, the three of them surrounded my bed.
However, I don’t know why I can’t see my face. Would it be my great effort to appreciate myself Spanish? Could it be that time the basketball instructor hit me in the face? What if I look ugly because they treat me so badly?
Meanwhile, now I am associating all the teasing, they were laughing at me! Hence my suicidal tendency! Every time I noticed that my stepparents were overdoing me, I would feel a pain in self-esteem, like compassion, and I would shut up. That is why I never asked for anything: I knew I would not be pleased.
My stepsister keeps laughing at me, even in the most ghoulish situations. With it, anything is possible. She considers that I am here to suffer and have fun, she is clear that I do not have the same right.
I don’t care if the photos have disappeared, they were taken treacherously. My past is in my stomach, the future begins now.
Now, I have fought so hard that I am my own mother, I take care of myself, I know that when I think about suicide, it is because society is pressuring me, it is punishing me, because I have no family or country, and they don’t really understand.
I have become so strong that I do not think about others, but about doing many things quickly, before dying.
My health suffers, but I know that my survival depends on happiness … I have not spoken to God again; I asked him to go to heaven, I think he listened to me, but I know that he will not let me die. I’m sure I have dizziness to rest, to sleep with the cat.
Because I have a lot ahead of me, despite the obstacles of the system … The system? I know, it is saying a lot: I believe in God and I am anti-system. @worldly
– .
