“We shared the same group of friends in high school and almost all couples from that time have since broken up. But not us. Harm is still my best friend. The first one I see when I wake up and the first one I call when I experience something special. Or something small. Often I don’t even have to say it anymore. A look is enough.
We still laugh almost every day and don’t really need anyone else. After fifty years we still can’t stop talking. About books, about music and the programs we watch on TV. About the grandchildren and our sons. About the greetings I get from the butcher.”
“We have overcome every phase of life together, and only twice was it difficult. When the children were still very small and Harm was working a lot and I was always at home, our worlds were far apart. We were exhausted from each of our own tasks. We both spent the evenings in our own books and hobbies, until one Sunday Harm said: ‘I miss you’. That opened my eyes.”
His boyhood dream
“My first reaction was to lash out at him and argue that he should make sure he was home more often. Until I saw the sadness in his eyes. He missed me. Twenty years later we had a similar situation. Harm started his own business, his boyhood dream.
As proud as he was, and so was I, the downside was that Harm had to visit potential customers almost every evening. First one appointment per evening, then two and sometimes more. Until after four years I said: ‘I miss you’. It took a few more arguments and good conversations before he sold his business. Harm missed me too.”
“Daring to say what you feel, without throwing around accusations, we have always been able to do that. Right away. Of course we also had to learn a lot, but the basis between us was always: I see you. In between everything. Children, money worries, mourning, joy and hustle. The two of us against the rest.”
Hanging earlobes
“The defects will come, especially as we get older. But I even enjoy putting on his support stockings. We are still fit, and we do a lot to ensure that. So Harm has those support stockings, I had to have my teeth replaced, it are not things that make you prettier.
But what does it matter? We still feel like the friends we were back then. When I look closely, I see that his earlobes are drooping, his hair is gray and his skin is dry, but the overall picture is still correct. Harm is a hunk. My twink.”
“Every once in a while, falling in love rekindles, usually when we embark on a new adventure together. Like recently, when we bought a holiday home in Friesland. The plans we make, the fun we have: it feels like it again. as if we still have our whole life ahead of us.”
Place in the herd
“People often say that sex is the cement of your relationship, but I am convinced that laughing together is at least as intimate and connecting. There is no shortage in that regard, but that is only one aspect of a warm marriage. Because with shared humor you speak each other’s language and that also makes you feel that you see each other.
And isn’t that what every relationship, friendship, love or family is all about? Every person has a need to belong and be seen. A place in the herd. Our herd just so happens to consist of two. Well, six, if you also count the children and grandchildren. But they have their own lives, which is fine. Harm and I don’t need anything except each other.”
Wanted: Love Lessons
For the Love Lessons section on RTL News Lifestyle we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hand in your own bosom. In the end, did you turn out to be the one with a fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love or did a blended family prove to be an illusion after all? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can tell anonymously. Email to: [email protected].
2024-01-10 20:43:44
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