Our author and her husband met while training for a triathlon. Courtesy of the author
My husband and I got married after participating in a triathlon together.
We both played sports growing up, and the lessons we learned from training helped our marriage.
We trust each other and don’t waste time on micromanagement.
This is a machine translation of an article from our US colleagues at Business Insider. It was automatically translated and reviewed by a real editor.
At the end of my athletic career, my husband and I got married after competing together on the college triathlon team.
Our first unofficial date was a practice run around the LSU campus. We tried to talk as we trudged through the grueling four miles at a seven-minute pace. Although we didn’t plan on running that fast, friendly competition drove us forward. We matched each other step for step, laying the foundation for our relationship as lifelong teammates.
Thomas and I both came from a sporting background. He played soccer and did track and field, while I did soccer, track and swimming. The experiences we had on sports teams growing up shaped our partnership from the beginning. As our family continues to grow and change, we maintain a team-oriented approach in our marriage that strengthens our bond in a variety of ways.
We continue to practice and improve
Since we’re fairly new to parenthood, we don’t have much practice in this area. Parenthood often feels daunting – like my first open water swim as a triathlete. But difficult things get easier with practice, something my husband and I understand after years of athletics. We cheer each other on as we learn new skills, just as we did as teammates.
As parents and partners, we rely on each other to do their best. To achieve this, each of us needs time for ourselves.
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Rest and recovery are part of an athlete’s job. When we were competing, my husband and I took a lot of time for our mental and physical well-being. This gave us the confidence and willpower to accomplish any task.
Although our daily family life is far from a triathlon, we know how important it is for us to recharge. This often means sharing childcare (and sacrificing time together) so that each of us can take a break from the kids.
We recognize that we have different strengths and weaknesses
Each of us contributes to our family unit in unique (but crucial) ways. Like gymnasts who specialize in different disciplines, Thomas and I prefer certain tasks at home. He takes care of the laundry while I do the dishes. He handles the kids’ morning routine, and I take charge in the evenings. It’s not a perfect system, and it’s not always the same, but we evaluate and adjust the game plan as we go.
We help each other out
If one of us has a “bad” day, the other can pick up the slack. We deal with setbacks and difficult times. Sometimes one person shoulders the burden of the entire team.
During my second pregnancy, my husband took on most of the childcare and household responsibilities. Conversely, I step in when he is away for work. We have learned to lean on each other during difficult times until we find our balance again.
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Teammates believe in each other’s ability to succeed. A soccer player can’t cover every position; a striker has to assume that defenders will bring the ball forward. While my husband may not do things exactly the way I would (especially when it comes to raising our children), we have the same vision and I know he will get the job done.
When I feel like throwing in the towel, I remember that my team depends on me and I don’t want to let them down. My husband compares evenings at our house to a fourth-quarter rush. Exhausted from our own work days, we try to feed and bathe our two children under 2 without losing our composure. In these moments, giving up is not an option. There is too much at stake. So we grit our teeth, wipe the sweat from our brows, and push through to the final buzzer (aka “bedtime”).
We constantly challenge ourselves and develop further
Athletes are constantly looking for new ways to improve their skills so they don’t hit a plateau. Likewise, my husband and I want to improve – not because we’re trying to beat everyone else, but because we want to see what we can accomplish together.
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Sometimes we fail – we fall, we drop the baton, and we get frustrated and discouraged. Instead of blaming each other or dwelling on our mistakes, we pick ourselves up and keep going. Every day is another opportunity to “shoot our shot.” While we’ll never get a medal for our efforts, we feel rewarded as we move closer to our goal of a healthy relationship and family.
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