Jakarta –
The use of verbal cues or speech turns out to be related to a person’s emotional intelligence. This was stated by a psychologist from Harvard University, United States, Dr Cortney S. Warren.
According to Warren, emotional intelligence is the ability where a person can understand and evaluate their feelings accurately, both within themselves and towards others.
“People who are said to be intelligent are people who can understand emotions and regulate their feelings to build better relationships with other people,” said Warren in his article for CNBC.
According to Warren, a person has good emotional intelligence, which can also be seen from the choice of sentences he utters. Well, Warren said that people who often say the following sentences have low emotional intelligence.
1. “I haven’t changed. This is who I am.”
People with low emotional intelligence are often rigid and find it difficult to change or develop. It would be better if someone could be open to new things, while still having a firm stance.
So, a better use of the phrase would be “I need to think more about what you say. I want to be open about myself, even when it’s hard to hear.”
2. “I don’t care how you feel.”
Ignoring other people’s feelings is a sign of low emotional intelligence. When you lack empathy for people who are having difficulties, it will disrupt relationships.
So, it’s best to say the following phrase “I’m sorry to hear about your bad condition. What can I help you with?”
3. “It’s your fault I feel this way.”
People who blame other people or things for their feelings are a sign of low emotional intelligence. Because, these emotions come from within and you shouldn’t blame external parties.
Instead, say “I’m feeling very emotional right now. I think the situation is…”
4. “You’re wrong”
Emotionally intelligent people will be able to provide good feedback. Likewise, accepting other people’s opinions or perspectives must be acceptable.
So a better statement would be, “I would like to hear your perspective on the things you do. Can you help me understand why you feel this way?”
5. “Stop being crazy!”
The next key to emotional intelligence is being able to listen to other people’s experiences without overreacting. This indicates that you have a high sense of awareness and self-esteem.
What’s better to say is, “I understand you’re really struggling right now. Although I hear that you’re upset with me, I think your reaction may have more to do with your past than with what I’m doing now. Do you think that’s true?”
6. “I can’t forgive you.”
Emotionally intelligent people can put themselves in other people’s shoes. This makes you more open and easier to forgive other people’s mistakes.
It’s best to replace it with “I’m having a hard time forgiving you right now. But I’m trying to let go of this anger, because I want us to be able to make things right.”
7. “Your feelings are irrational.”
Emotionally intelligent people can interrogate their feelings, step outside themselves, and analyze the rational as well as the irrational aspects of the mind. Then you are also good at acknowledging other people’s feelings.
So it’s best to say, “I hear that you are having strong emotions right now and that is valid. I don’t fully understand why you feel this way or agree with your perspective on this situation. Can you tell me more?”
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2023-12-21 01:00:00
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