Amy Abbott
| Indianapolis Star
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Indianapolis Star
A white truck pulled up beside our car in busy West Lafayette traffic. I was driving with my husband, taking our son and his girlfriend back to the Indy airport when a driver honked at me. I turned to see a middle-aged man in the truck’s cab. He flailed his arms and pointed at me, now screaming obscenities.
I realized then my family made the mistake of visiting my father near Purdue University on fall move-in day.
The level of rage this man bared has become endemic to our lives now. Ordinary people doing ordinary things get caught up in rage and are even sometimes shot and killed.
I looked at the out-of-control driver and turned away, watching traffic subside for a quick right turn.
I’m a white-haired woman who wears supplemental oxygen, not a threat to anyone. All four of us felt similarly. Would the man next to us pull out a gun?
These new rage incidents come not from crime sprees but from ordinary people. Were these episodes of extreme anger fueled by the Great Recession, political polarization or the pandemic?
Hoosier National Park? Why not designate it to protect the Indiana forest from logging
Every day, IndyStar and newspapers throughout our state catalog incidents of violence and rage. An Everytown Research and Policy study noted injuries and deaths from road rage incidents have increased since 2018 over the entire country.
Violence and rage now also have a recreational aspect, with the plethora of Rage Rooms. Or, you can throw an axe. We live in a time where we will pay our hard-earned dollars to engage in rage.
“Psychology Today” discussed The Civility Deficitdefining civility as politeness, courtesy and respect.
“The term civility is derived from the Latin civilization and gives rise to the term civilization,” the article noted. “Civilization, in turn, is that essential process by which humanity transcends ignorance, resolves conflict, and reaches its most advanced stages.”
The meaning of civitas is “the social body of citizens.”
Hostility ruled in the Stone Age when one couldn’t predict the appearance of a hungry predator.
So, what’s happened to politeness, courtesy and respect? What’s happened to the golden rule? Does doing unto others mean cutting them off in traffic or yelling an obscenity? People seem to have lost the ability to filter what they say and, in many cases, how they express their anger.
Readers weigh in: Why do our roads always need repairs? Why a gravel pit in Noblesville?
Your turn: Have a take? Tell us in a letter to the editor
As naive as it sounds, nothing will ever change if the individual cannot. It’s up to each of us to live out the golden rule and behave civilly. Here are some tips:
Metaphorically, walk a mile in the shoes of a person with whom you disagree.Walk away from incivility and bullying behavior. If you don’t want to play, throw your cards on the table.Express your opinion to elected officials who don’t behave civilly, and use your vote to express your views.We can recognize good behavior. When someone in a store goes out of their way to help you, let them know.
Last week, a clerk at Huck’s Convenience Store went out of her way to help me. I was stunned. I went to their company website and told them about my positive experience. I received a call from a company official the next day, which surprised me.
The world is in a fractious place now, and we cannot predict the future. We can control our choices, behavior and what we give to others.
I’m not perfect — and I still feel guilty for yelling at an Alabama hotel clerk on a recent vacation — for something that wasn’t her fault. But I can do better. And so can you.
Amy Abbott is a freelance journalist and author in southern Indiana.
2023-10-02 09:14:26
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