“The Impact of Childhood Experiences on Adult Mental Health: Defusing Toxic Thought Patterns”

Often we are not aware of it, but our childhood affects our adult life in a very profound way.

In fact, much of the things we learn as children create the mental patterns according to which we think and act even as we grow up.

On the one hand this means that we have to pay a lot of attention to the education of our children. In this way we will prevent negative emotional experiences from forming toxic thought patterns in them.

On the other hand though we should begin to analyze our behaviors very carefully. In fact, we may realize that some ways of thinking and some recurring habits are rooted in our childhood.

What are the “toxic” thoughts that come from comparing yourself with others?

If we were educated as children a always think of others first and only after to ourselves, as adults we will not be able to build our own happiness because we will always feel guilty if we try to do something just for us.

If as children we have always been criticized and compared with others considered better than us most likely we will be adults who do not believe in their own abilities and that, for this reason, they are afraid to do anything for fear of failing and making a fool of yourself.

The mental blocks that come from too high expectations

Very often children are overwhelmed by parental expectations who expect to see them shine at school, in sports or (as adults) at work. This unfortunately creates adults with a very strong sense of anxiety and with the fear of never being enough. People who had parents with high expectations as children often as adults they try to please others and to always get everyone’s approval.

Children who were always pushed to do their best and look perfect often develop as adults the habit of lying in order to give that perfect (but absolutely unrealistic) image of themselves that they would have liked to give to their parents.

Once you understand what are the mental mechanisms that “force” us to behave in a certain way, it is easier begin to defuse them, learning to be more understanding and less hard on ourselves. Once this is done, the instinct to hide, not feeling enough or lying can be countered and slowly overcome. It will of course be about a long journey that requires a lot of awareness and a lot of self-criticism: you can’t overnight but you can decide at any time to start a journey towards your new happiness.