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Contrast
“Two of his sons were teenagers, not the easiest age. The middle one in particular was quite brutal. When David spoke to him about it, he didn’t come over for months. When parents are still together or interact well with each other, you say: ‘Don’t treat Dad like that’, but now it was only welcomed. Communicating was very difficult because he was blocked on everything.”
Laurie talks about her own situation: “My ex-husband and I still have fantastic contact. We have a child together and we are also together as parents to her. We celebrate holidays and birthdays together and she receives shared gifts from us. If she says something unreasonable about me, my ex-husband will stand up for me and vice versa. I can’t think of a greater contrast. That’s very sad. That’s another way to do it.”
Living
Laurie: “After a while, his youngest son wanted to come live with us. Due to circumstances he preferred not to live with his mother anymore. David was so happy. He made clear agreements, because he wanted his son to see his mother.
After a while his son didn’t want to see her anymore. David tried to contact his ex-wife, but it was impossible. He never received a response. Afterwards it turned out that they had secret contact, but it all went under David’s nose. That was very painful, because he tried very hard. In addition, he thought it was good if his son saw his mother, so he did not understand why it happened secretly. He really felt lied to.
Ultimately, his son returned to his mother after about 1.5 years. We heard from my daughter that he turned out to be vilifying David, and he also had nothing good to say about me. Yes, it is a vague story, we think so too. We didn’t realize anything, we thought we had a sweet boy at home. It is the last time there has been contact and we have been blocked. We don’t even know where they live. We have not been able to clarify it to this day.”
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Spot
“Now it seems as if we have never done anything wrong, undoubtedly we have made mistakes too. We were visibly in love and that hurts the partners left behind, but in my opinion that should never be done at the expense of the children. Here three children were played against their father. I have a man in my house who was absolutely broken.
We are now a few years further. It has been given a place. We are doing quite well. It’s just so incredibly pointless, I can’t even explain it. If you have not been happy together for more than six years and you both feel that it is not working, then breaking up is the best solution. Why did things go so wrong afterwards? Joost should know. David still doesn’t understand using your children to get back at your ex-husband. They will always be his children, he will continue to love them, but that man is in so much pain.”
Laurie: ‘There are only losers in this story’
“He hasn’t really seen his children since he was a teenager. Getting your driver’s license, final exams, studying: you can’t catch up. He missed everything. We may not have done everything perfectly, but this was a battle that could not be won from day one. David lost.
I don’t get it, because what’s the profit? Three children are without a father and a father is without his children. There are only losers in this story. As a human being I hope that his sons will one day be on our doorstep, but as a woman I hope not, because I know he will be damaged again.”
Call
Do you, like Laurie, also have a story about your blended family? Then email your story, together with your name, age and telephone number, to [email protected], stating ‘Lekker Composite’. This can of course also be done anonymously.
*Laurie tells her story anonymously. Her real name is known to the editors. David’s name has also been changed. His real name is known to the editors.
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2023-12-22 05:03:11
#Lauries #husbands #sons #longer #broken
