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“Many women don’t think enough about money. Behind this is guilt, shame, envy,” says Josefine Deml from Ebersberg, who offers coaching. © PRIVATE
Josefine Deml, a coach from Ebersberg who also advises women on financial issues, talks in an interview about courage, blockages and the question of where happiness lies.
Ebersberg – Josefine Deml (51) from Ebersberg has been an artist agent for Michael Altinger, Alexander Liegl and Constanze Lindner for 20 years. She coordinated appointments, planned programs, encouraged and motivated the artists to do what they enjoy. With the pandemic, the cabaret scene has experienced a decisive and frustrating upheaval. Deml came to the conclusion that it was now her turn. She says: “I had to allow myself to be happy again.” Today she works as a trained mindset coach for women with a focus on change, courage and money. We asked: What is the relationship between women and money?
You describe yourself as a courage mentor for women 40+. Do women of this age need more courage?
Things start to change after you turn 40. The children are older, a lot has changed on the outside. Maybe you say to yourself: “Things can’t go on like this.” You want a change, maybe just a small one. And then the blocks in your head that we have unconsciously inherited as a belief get in the way: “How is that supposed to work?” “But you can’t pay.” It’s hard to accept anything positive. This also applies to accepting compliments. Tell a woman that she’s wearing a nice top. 80% of women answer: “That was really cheap,” or “That’s pretty old.” I want to break down these blocks in coaching. My homework is then to accept everything that comes for a week.
You often see the word “money” on your website. Is that all that satisfaction is about?
Through my training as a money relationship coach, money is one of my main focuses.
It may also be worth mentioning that after finishing school you trained as a bank clerk.
Exactly. Money is neither positive nor negative. Money is what you make of it. Money can be energy and appreciation. It is a means of fulfilling your own wishes. And women can allow that without feeling guilty. Too much money or too little money? Sometimes that is not the real problem. There is something else behind it.
What is behind it if there is no money?
A mental awareness of lack. Many women don’t think enough about money. Behind this is guilt, shame, envy. For example, you might say: “I find it difficult to negotiate my price for a pay rise.” That’s how we’re brought up. In the first seven years, you absorb everything. What happens becomes your truth: “Wash your hands, money is dirty!” or: “Money corrupts character!” And with this attitude, we go out and make our decisions. If I don’t care about money, I shouldn’t be surprised if it’s not there or if I spend everything I have straight away. But women are actually better investors. My wish and my message as a coach for women is: “Open up and look at money issues.”
Women don’t demand enough for themselves?
I like doing the work so much, I don’t have to… this blockage is between the ears, in the brain. I want to get women to look at it for themselves: what is my truth? Where are my blockages? Courage, money, joy: what serves me? Thoughts create feelings, feelings actions, actions results. Our brain doesn’t make it easy for us. Thinking new things is a process. And I support it.
Does money make you happy?
The first question is: what makes me happy? The second: why do I want more money? And then: how much money should I have per month? We often only say what we don’t want and not what we do want. I don’t go to the train ticket counter and say: “I don’t want to go to Innsbruck, I don’t want to go to Hamburg, I don’t want to go to Berlin. So: what are your goals? Go on holiday, pay back a loan…? That has to be clearly defined.
And where is the happiness?
It’s not winning the lottery that makes you happy. Maybe it’s all spent again in five years because the winners haven’t changed anything about themselves. Or you realize that going on vacation ten times a year doesn’t make you happy at all. Maybe it’s about freedom. Then the question arises: When am I free? In the silence, on a mountain hike? Then do more of what makes you free. You can’t want something, you have to be it beforehand, then you go out into the world completely differently. That’s what I work on in my coaching sessions with women.
Not wanting to have, but being. You need to explain that in more detail.
I’m only happy when I have a partner. That doesn’t work. I have to make sure that I’m doing well without a partner. I look after myself. I put on the cream that’s good for me, even if it’s expensive. I put on make-up, even when I’m sitting at home in my home office. I can afford something. And when you are what you want to be, you have a different charisma and attract the things you want.
Is there a quote that hits your targets?
I am reminded of Christian Bischoff, who said: “Change your mindset and you change your life.”
