For Barend (78), his life changed dramatically when his wife Linda (74) was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s four years ago. Since then, he has been not only her husband, but also her caretaker. “It’s hard work,” he says, “you see your wife, with whom you’ve shared your whole life, slowly changing. It takes a lot of patience and emotional strength to support her, especially when she’s upset or forgets things.”
Barend soon realized that caring for Linda required a lot from him. “I always wanted to be there for her, but it started to break me down. I felt lonely and sometimes panicked because of the responsibility that was given to me. It was hard to admit I needed help.”
Fortunately, he came into contact with Informal Care & Morean organization that supports informal carers. Here he met Jessica‘s informal care advisor, who, according to Barend, has been a great support. “Jessica has been a listening ear for me. From the first conversation I felt that I was understood. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Sometimes I just needed to vent, and that was always possible with her. “
Jessica not only provided Barend with emotional support, but also pointed out the different situations discussion groups in courses which organizes Informal Care & More. “I didn’t even realize how many opportunities there were for informal carers like me,” Barend admits, “thanks to Jessica I was able to participate in discussion groups with informal carers another. It was so good to exchange experiences and learn from each other. You find out you’re not the only one struggling with this.”
The courses have given him a lot too. “I did a course on dealing with depression, which helped me understand better what is happening to Linda and how I can better deal with it. It has given me peace and confidence in my role as an informal carer.”
Barend is grateful for the help he received. “Without the support of Jessica and Mantelzorg & Meer, I probably wouldn’t have done it. They showed me that it’s okay to ask for help, and that there are always people there to help you. Thanks to them I can still be there with love for Linda, without losing myself.”
*Barend and Linda are not real names; picture for picture.
(Partner contribution: Municipality of Aalsmeer)
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