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Tennis: “I had dark thoughts, I abused alcohol and drugs” … Nick Kyrgios reveals his demons


With Nick Kyrgios, we are never at the end of our surprises… The whimsical Australian, 26, split a long post on Instagram on Thursday to discuss 2019, a black year in his career.

And the world No. 137, doubles winner of the last Australian Open with his compatriot Kokkinakis did not go with his back to the keyboard, citing suicidal thoughts, drug use and bouts of self-harm.

Kyrgios accompanied his message with a photo taken in 2019 during the Australian Grand Slam in which he shows scarifications on his right arm.

“That was me three years ago. Most people thought I was mentally fine and enjoying life, writes the circuit troublemaker. It was one of the darkest times. If you look closely, you can notice that I was self-harming my right arm. I had suicidal thoughts and literally had trouble getting out of bed let alone performing in front of millions of people. »

Accustomed to escapades on the courts, in particular two big incidents in Rome then Cincinnati in 2019 which had led to a 16-week suspended suspension, the native of Canberra was sliding towards the abyss. “I felt lonely, depressed, had dark thoughts, abused alcohol and drugs, rejected my family and friends,” he explains. I felt like I couldn’t talk about it or I couldn’t trust anyone. »

“Please Don’t Go Alone”

Today, the Australian says he is proud to be able to say that he has changed and that he now has “a completely different perspective on everything”.

“I know that day-to-day life can seem extremely exhausting, impossible at times. I understand that you feel like if you open up, you’ll feel weak or scared, he adds. I’m telling you right now, it’s okay, you’re not alone. Please don’t feel alone, if you feel like you can’t talk to anyone, I’m here, get in touch”.

Kyrgios is not the first to share this distress

Kyrgios isn’t the first champion to open up about his psychological issues. In recent months, many athletes have mentioned depression or burnout, often accentuated by the anxiety-provoking context due to the pandemic. Last year, former world No. 1 Naomi Osaka did not hesitate to take a long break and make public the fragility of her mental state…

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