She has had seven miscarriages and several years of intensive trying for a baby. When Marie no longer believed that she would ever become a mother, she finally succeeded and she and her partner have a one-year-old girl at home. However, Marie struggles with remorse.
“The last few years have been terrible. We really wanted a baby, but it still didn’t work out. And when two lines finally appeared on the test, seven times my pregnancy ended in miscarriage. We almost wanted to give up and start thinking about adoption, but almost a miracle happened. I got pregnant and gave birth to my daughter. I was horribly stressed throughout the pregnancy so that something wouldn’t go wrong again, but luckily it worked out,” describes Marie.
She couldn’t be happier after the birth of her daughter Diana. However, her enthusiasm only lasted in the maternity ward. She soon discovered that motherhood and caring for a baby was not what she had imagined. She does not enjoy being at home with the child.
“I have terrible remorse, but there’s nothing you can do about those thoughts. I love my daughter, I’m glad I have her, but I would probably like her to be older and to be a bigger partner for me. You don’t talk to a one-year-old child, and every day is very similar to the other. In addition, we live in a village and I don’t have a driver’s license, so I depend on my husband. But even if I had it, I don’t know what we would do. Sitting somewhere in cafes with a small child is probably not quite the same,” says Marie.
The 38-year-old woman thought she was the motherly type, but after the birth of her baby girl, she found out that was not the case at all. But he doesn’t talk much about his feelings with his loved ones. Because when she hinted at something, most people looked at her like she was crazy for not appreciating the fact that she had a healthy child that she wanted so much.
Source: respondent Marie
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