Think positive. I, Femke, am not good at it. On the one hand, I consider myself cheerful and enthusiastic. But I don’t really look forward to anything, because what if I get sick the day before? Am I nice enough? How will my life go in the future? I could go on and on with the list of negative thoughts that often guide me. It’s actually a shame, because nine times out of ten they are completely wrong. In this article I will find out where my negative thoughts come from, whether they are bad and what my faith in God can mean in this.
Not the only one
It turns out I’m not the only one struggling with this. Up in a poll our Instagram 82 percent of voters indicate that they regularly have negative thoughts. How much! For some it will be even more intense than for me, but it is secretly a relief to see that I am not the only one.
Cause
When I look at my environment, the news or social media, I also notice: negativity often predominates. I’m curious: do people think negatively more quickly than positively? And where would that come from? I ask these questions to psychologist Sarah van den Boogaard. “Everyone suffers from negative thoughts sometimes. Whether this bothers you much is partly determined by your genes. Some people are naturally more of an optimist than others,” Sarah begins.
In addition, social and environmental factors also play a major role. “How you are raised, which people you have around you and where you live are decisive in this. But the weather, for example, can also influence how you feel,” she continues.
I notice that too. The weather is not always good in the Netherlands, which sometimes causes winter blues for me. But we are still doing so well in this cold little country compared to other countries. How is it possible that we still often think negatively? “As humans, we are often inclined to want better, bigger and more beautiful. A kind of endless urge for ‘perfection’. Social media now makes it very easy to compare yourself with so many other people. Partly because of this, more and more young people against performance pressure.”
Too many stimuli
“Technology is developing extremely fast, while our brains cannot keep up at all. We are actually not resistant to all these stimuli at all. This can cause a lot of unconscious stress,” says Sarah.
When I hear this, I don’t think it’s strange that I sometimes get confused with my own thoughts. Should I seek help for this? Sarah: “In any case, it is good to talk about this with people you trust. You’re really not crazy if you suffer from this. If you notice that your thoughts really negatively influence your daily life, it may be a good idea to seek professional help for this.”
Are you sometimes bothered by your own thoughts? Sarah gives the tip to ask yourself these questions!
1. Evidence for and against: Is what I say correct? Is it realistic and if not, why not?
2. Are there alternative ways to look at the situation or explain it?
3. Is it helping So to think? Does it benefit me?
4. Imagine that the thought is true and the worst happens, what then? What does that mean for me? How could I then deal with this?
TW: This paragraph is about thoughts of suicide
Depressive thoughts
Someone who has also suffered from negative thoughts is Christian speaker Robbie van Veen: “In 2017 I ended up in a burnout and ended up at home with severe panic attacks. I started having depressive thoughts about whether I still mattered. I also worried whether I would ever get out of here. If that didn’t work, I wondered if I still wanted to live this way.”
In therapy, Robbie discovered that his busy life was not necessarily the cause: “Deep down I was always looking for confirmation from others. I wanted to feel like I was allowed to be there. I set the bar so high for myself and that broke me.”
I always looked for confirmation from others
Lies
At some point he realized that his thoughts were not always correct or realistic. “In the book of the Bible Genesis the serpent tempts Adam and Eve with the promise that they will become like God when they eat the fruit. This, even though they are already made in God’s image! They are promised something they already have.
I also look at my thoughts this way. For example, I am tempted by the idea that I should not be there, while God has already graciously given me this. I can also sometimes get the thought: ‘Do you think you can knock on God’s door this way?’ While I read in the Bible that God wants nothing more than for us to come to him. That’s why I try to determine whether the voices in my head are correct, or whether the voice of ‘the accuser’ is speaking.
Own strength
Robbie continues: “I like using truths from the Bible. But it is good to be careful that you do not push away your negative thoughts and then recite Bible texts to yourself. This way you drown out your feelings, try to do it on your own strength and only tire yourself out. I would recommend doing it with God.”
“I like the story of Elia very applicable to this topic. He sits depressed in the desert, afraid of being killed. Then an angel comes along and gives him something to eat and drink. He is strengthened again and continues on the road.” he says passionately.
“A lesson I get from this is that it is good to place your feelings with God. He knows what’s going on inside you. Here you can find peace and recharge. But then get back to work yourself. In practical terms, this can mean that you learn different patterns, for example. Or maybe look for other friends because they pull you down.
And finally, it is important to seek help when negativity takes hold of you. I think therapy is one of the most beautiful things God has given,” Robbie ends.
Need an occasional reminder?
So it is good to be aware of your thoughts and whether they are correct. A tip: put an inspiring text in your background so that you are regularly reminded of it. 🙌
Well, this really changed my perspective on the situation. At the beginning I thought I had to throw my negative thoughts completely aside, say Bible verses out loud in the mirror and drill myself to only think positively. Now I know that negative thoughts are part of it, but that I don’t have to let myself be completely guided by them. Fortunately, I don’t have to do it alone. I can always talk to people about it and I have God by my side.
2024-02-23 12:59:23
#stop #thinking #negatively #wont #succeed
