STI Stories: Chlamydia, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and More

I once got chlamydia from an ex. We had unprotected sex and that same week he called me to say he had an STI. The next day he came by to give me the pill cure he had picked up at the GGD. “I’ll say I lost them so I can get new ones, but then you already have them,” he said.

I thought that was sweet, but I thought it would be better to have myself tested too – who knows, I might have escaped the dance, and I wouldn’t have to take those pills. But unfortunately, when I got the results, the doctor told me that I did indeed have chlamydia. “In your anus too,” she added.

That made me laugh really hard – maybe a little inappropriate. I didn’t laugh because I was ashamed of anal sex, which we had indeed had, but because I had never heard of an anal STI. The pills I was given were different from the cure my ex had given me. That made me extra glad I got tested – otherwise I might still be walking around with chlamydia in my butt.

There is an increase in chlamydia and gonorrhea among women and heterosexual men under 25, evidenced by numbers of Centers for Sexual Health. In 2022, the number of gonorrhea diagnoses increased by more than 33 percent, about ten thousand people were diagnosed. Chlamydia is the most commonly found STI; in 2022 it was established 24,684 times. According to the Aidsfonds-Soa Aids Nederland, this increase is partly due to a lack of information and prevention – the national Vrij Veilig campaign (with legendary slogans such as “who can be screwed without a condom?”) was discontinued in 2011.

That is a pity, because having an STI is incredibly unpleasant, but it can be avoided with the right knowledge. I asked a number of young people about their most distressing STI experiences, how they contracted them and what they learned from them.

Last summer I contracted an STI during Lowlands. The first night I was completely off track and had sex with a boy I had met that night.

Because we had done it without a condom, I had to take a morning-after pill the next day. Not long after that I found out I had herpes. I had very nasty, smelly discharge, painful urination and I got blisters on my vulva. And that was not too bad, fortunately, I have heard much more disastrous stories about herpes.

It was very uncomfortable though. And besides: herpes is an STI that you carry with you for the rest of your life. There’s no pill for it.

Fortunately, it’s not always contagious, so I don’t have to have sex with a condom for the rest of my life. But once my immune system deteriorates, there’s a pretty good chance that the herpes will show up again. Recently I had met a nice boy and my vulva started to bother me. Immediately I became stressed. Luckily it wasn’t herpes, but the idea that I could infect my potential bed partners and be saddled with something forever is very sad.

Especially in the beginning I also had a bad feeling about that evening. My body was pretty shaken by the herpes and the morning-after pill. I haven’t menstruated for a while. I also found it creepy that I had no idea who I had sex with. We didn’t exchange numbers, I have no idea who he is and never saw him again. Since then I’ve had a different relationship with alcohol – I don’t want to get into a state where I can’t make conscious choices. Most of the times I didn’t use a condom, I had been drinking. I started thinking a lot more about safe sex. Since then I have had a sensible relationship with my sexual health. Super important, it’s about your health! I get tested regularly, I take it seriously. I also communicate about it with friends and bed partners.

Piet* (32)

At the moment I have pubic lice. It itches like crazy, I’m constantly scratching.

Two weeks ago I suddenly saw something. It moved. I plucked it off my skin and held it close to my face to examine it. What the fuck, I thought, this is a fucking louse. Very gross. I don’t know how I got it, I’ve had unprotected sex with several people.

I have quite a full STI bingo card. In addition to pubic lice, I had chlamydia once and gonorrhea twice. Two years ago I was at work, and I felt something sticking to the inside of my pants. When I went to the bathroom to check, my entire underpants turned out to be full of yellow stuff. I had a dripper, full of discharge. Very shit. I had to take antibiotics. Then I said to myself: I’m only going to have safe sex, my body is a temple.

Still, after a few weeks I thought again: oh buoy, I’m doing it without a condom. A year later I was on vacation and I felt flu. I sat on the bed and saw pus coming out of my penis. A doctor came and gave me a jab in the ass. I got super sick and promised myself never to have unprotected sex again. But after that, things quickly went wrong again.

If you have an STI, you must inform all your sexual partners. I do not do that. I know that’s really bad, but I find it too embarrassing. It seems like I’m not learning anything from it. How I treat my body is reckless and stupid. My body is a temple of damnation. It is super important to have safe sex. Rationally, I know that, but I still can’t. The silly but honest reason I usually do it without a condom is that I find it hotter.

Mimi* (20)

At the end of 2022 I had chlamydia and gonorrhea, at the same time. The boy I had sex with sent a message that he had developed gonorrhea after our sex and that I should also get tested. When the GGD called with my test results, she said: “You are positive for both.” I was in shock, I could hardly react. I didn’t even know you could have two STDs at the same time. How could that boy have one STI and I have two?

The last person I had sex with was my ex. That went out because he had kissed someone else. He said he hadn’t had sex with her, but he fell through. The STD had to come from him, because I hadn’t had any other bed partners. Apparently my ex gave me chlamydia from the girl he cheated on. I was just a little bit over him, it felt like a sewing stitch. After it was over I had sex with him again, so I had to text him to warn him. He got tested and he had chlamydia. Then I knew for sure: I have two different STIs, from two different people.

Physically I didn’t have many complaints, the only thing was that my nipple piercing was heavily inflamed. I couldn’t even bend over, it hurt so much. The GGD had also taken a swap there – I tested positive both vaginally and with my nipple piercing. So the pain in my nipple was due to my STI.

I was given a course of pills against the chlamydia. I found those pills very nauseating. I had taken them on a broke stomach, without eating. I got an injection in my buttock against the gonorrhea. Kind of like a needle in your arm and then a little muscle pain, that was fine. Since then I’m more likely to use a condom when I’m with people I don’t know, before I never did that. Luckily I can laugh about it now.

Dauphine* (26)

My STI story is a bit complicated. In the summer of 2020, I broke up with my first boyfriend. A few months later I had a short relationship with Rik. They were the only two guys I’d ever had sex with. On Tinder I met a boy, Bas, with whom I had my first one-night stand. He then texted me saying, “I think you should get tested for an STI.” After we had sex, he had developed physical complaints.

It seemed impossible to me that I had given him an STD. I had two ex-partners with whom I had a monogamous relationship. I panicked and went to the doctor. It was the first time I had casual sex, and now this?

The result turned out to be negative. I was relieved. Still, I had a strange feeling in my gut. I thought: I’m going to go to the doctor anyway, to double check. She said, “Oh, your urine test isn’t back yet!” It turned out to be a gross medical error. The next morning I got a call: I did have chlamydia. If I hadn’t had it checked, I might still be walking around with it, with all the consequences that entails [op lange termijn kan chlamydia soms leiden tot o.a. onvruchtbaarheid, red.]. I have been in contact with all three men about this. I still don’t know who gave me the STI, even though I think I have a right to know. It was solved with two pills, but I thought it was a drama. It was awkward and complicated. Since then I have been regularly checked for STIs. I say to everyone: get tested, even if you have few bed partners.

*For privacy reasons, all names have been changed. The real names of the interviewees are known to the editors.