Christmas can be a tough time for many. For artist Stian “Staysman” Thorbjørnsen (39), he felt an urge to put into words what he, and probably many others, felt as a child of divorce, or to be divorced himself.
For Thorbjørnsen is himself a child of divorce, and earlier this year it also became known that he and his girlfriend Tina Thorbjørnsen (30) went their separate ways.
When he visited Good Morning Norway on Friday, together with artist Øyvind “Vinni” Sauvik (45), they shared what it has been like to be in the middle of a breakup.
– PARTS: Øyvind Sauvik and Stian Thorbjørnsen have both been in a break-up. At Good Morning Norway, they shared how this Christmas is going to be. Photo: Good morning Norway / TV 2
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Watch parts of the interview with Stian “Staysman” Thorbjørnsen in the video at the top of the case.
The inbox exploded
For a long time, Thorbjørnsen had been thinking about making a song about being in a breakup. When he divorced himself, everything suddenly became more real.
– I had thought the thought for a long time. It’s about me being a child of divorce, and suddenly I got divorced myself. Then the song became more and more real, and I thought it was time to try to put a few words down on paper, he says.
On December 1, the ballad, “Christmas without Dad”, was released. Then the inbox exploded.
– It obviously hit a nerve, he says.
– I did not try to make it so pissed off depressively. I was just trying to convey that even if you sit alone on Christmas Eve, you know in most cases that the kids are fine where they are.
However, he thinks it is both nice and sad to read all the stories of those who have sent him a message.
Watch Stian «Staysman» Thorbjørnsen perform Christmas without dad at Good Morning Norway:
“Juliet”
Although Thorbjørnsen has a good relationship with the mothers of his children, he admits that it is special to come home to an empty house, especially towards Christmas.
– I have experienced that I come home in the evening, so it’s a little strange – and with Christmas, he says, and continues:
– It’s fine, but it should be so pissed cozy all the time – not that I should complain about how I have had it. But I know there are many out there, where the “cozy-bonanza” gets a little too much for some sometimes. It may end up only getting worse for very many, he says.
This Christmas will be the first without the children for Thorbjørnsen. Nevertheless, he will visit both his children and his father.
– My ex joked that this was probably the only tour I get this year, he laughs.
The song about the breakup makes Vinni show emotion
– Better than the alternative
In 2011, it became known that Sauvik and cohabitant Tone Oraini Selfors (39) separated teams. Today they are good friends, and together they have managed to find an everyday life that suits them, at the same time as they raise their son Leonel (13).
– All marital breakdowns are painful and difficult, but we have found out about it and worked a lot with it. We have come to an understanding where we should not let our problems ruin for someone who has nothing to do with it, like our son. It is not his fault that we did not make it happen, he says.
Occasionally the couple lives together, both in Bali and in Oslo, where they live.
– We have a common intention that the child should be well, so we have solved that well. We are good very good friends, and have known each other for a long time. We cultivate the friendship relationship, which can be demanding, but it is not that difficult. It’s better than the alternative.
See the entire interview with Øyvind «Vinni» Sauvik and Stian «Staysman» Thorbjørnsen:
Reflected more
In the time after Thorbjørnsen’s parents divorced, he has reflected more on how the situation was for his parents, at the time.
– I do not think you reflect so much on it when you are young – what the parents thought and felt. You were so happy, and had lots of people around you who loved you. It was only when I got older that I started thinking about it, and I think many divorced children can recognize themselves in the song, he says.
For Sauvik, the break-up between the parents was less dramatic.
The song makes Staysman break down
– They divorced when I was quite an adult, so it did not affect me so much in the same way. I think many children think it’s their fault, and take on a lot of responsibility and guilt. For me, it was never like that, he says.
Creates community
Sauvik thinks that Thorbjørnsen has tried to put into words what many divorced families feel.
– Often we do not dare to share how we feel because we are afraid. When someone does it, and you recognize yourself, it becomes an echo. Had he not shared the song, he might not have received all those messages, he says, and continues:
– You say that you are not alone, and there are many who have it like you. That community I think is pretty healthy.
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