Being supported by others is decisive in getting through the bereavement crisis, recalls clinical psychologist Magali Molinié, lecturer at Paris-VIII University and associate professor at Cornell University (United States). The virus isolates and disrupts the necessary development of the memory of the deceased, analyzes the author of Heal the dead to heal the living (The Preventers from Thinking in the Round, 2006).
“The coronavirus is putting the support of the dying and the dead in crisis, reinforcing our isolation. Usually, family, friendship and professional networks are mobilized when someone dies. The time of the funeral is a culmination of this mobilization. Considered as a rite of passage, it marks the end of a human life and opens the possibility of a non-terrestrial life, whether one thinks of it from the psychological angle of the dead as a living memory within families or according to cultural or religious categories: soul, ancestor, angel… At the time of the funeral, we get together, we embrace and touch each other, we evoke the deceased. It is one of the moments when this composite and collective memory of the deceased begins to be built, building a being that becomes richer, more complex thanks to these shared stories.
“The restrictions due to health constraints undermine these collective moments, the support possibilities of those most affected. They risk worsening their isolation, where social support is key to getting through the bereavement crisis. Some psychologists are worried about it. As a note of hope, we can also observe that families are trying to overcome these difficulties by cultivating long-distance links: ceremonies are filmed, social networks are mobilized. Maintaining the links between relatives, remembering in the exchanges what was the deceased remains of the utmost importance. And when the restrictions are lifted, it will be possible to put in place memorial or ceremonial moments that might have been missing: with the family or by relying on outside proposals. Funeral services, bereavement support associations and cults are already thinking about it.
“In this pandemic, health constraints are imposed on all funeral stakeholders, whether your loved one has died of Covid or something else. From a certain point of view, all the dead of the period are victims of the virus, all the bereaved have to do with the virus, even the whole of society, the world itself. It is a very exceptional situation. How can civil society “metabolize” this situation? What ceremonial translation can this lead to? In which spaces? For which deaths? It is certain that collectives will bring this question to the public arena and that social consideration of this question could make it possible to construct answers worthy of the situation. The State can of course think about organizing a ceremony at the national level, but we must not neglect the local levels.
“The loss of a loved one generally causes emotions such as sadness, nostalgia, anger, but also questions about the conditions of the death: was this death preventable? It becomes today: is this death due to the fatality of the virus, namely a natural disaster? Is it linked to the upheavals caused by our mode of production? Is it the consequence of inadequate management of the pandemic? These questions have their place in the privacy of families, but also in research, democratic debate, even judicial. Understanding, identifying the causes and responsibilities is necessary for the development of mourning. In its intimate dimensions, but also collective. ”
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