Simone Biles has been the latest celebrity in using their social networks to clarify that asking a woman if she is pregnant at the moment she uploads a photograph in which an iota of volume is glimpsed in her belly is extremely problematic. No matter how much time passes, it is necessary that these types of messages be constantly repeated so that they penetrate the collective discourse of a society determined to comment on the female body and attack privacy and education. When the Olympic medalist posted an image of herself supporting her husband, Jonathan Owens, at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey on social media, numerous followers began asking the athlete if she was pregnant. “I hate to have to allude to this, but please stop commenting on my photo and on my Instagram profile about my supposed pregnancy,” Biles wrote in response to a story in which the image of the controversy appeared accompanied by of his words.
Andrea Duro has just experienced a similar situation after uploading an image in which she poses wearing a fuchsia Victoria Collection dress, a photograph in which, in numerous comments, some users congratulated her on her pregnancy. “For not having a flat stomach? Maybe you should stop asking this question. First of all, because you don’t know if the person you are asking has some kind of problem and that makes them insecure. The second thing, because you don’t have a very flat stomach all the time due to many factors. The third thing, because it is not necessary… the day I am going to be a mother (if I am) I will tell you,” the actress responded. S Moda has contacted her to delve into the problems involved in this question.
“I have no idea why we think we have the right to give opinions about other people’s bodies. I don’t know if it’s cultural or if it’s even a way for people to feel better when someone they think is beautiful, or who they think has a great body, gains weight for whatever reason, suddenly bringing them a certain satisfaction. Since I know that it is something toxic and negative that harms us, I have been trying for a long time to correct this behavior, which is why I make an effort not to generate opinions about anyone’s body. I would feel bad about myself if I had to give my opinion about someone, and possibly it has to do with the fact that it is something that I have experienced for a long time and that, as you can see, I continue to experience. “It’s something that hurts me a lot,” says the actress.
‘Body shaming’ 1, empathy 0
Of course, these comments are not far from the body shaming that is already part, unfortunately, of the daily life of celebrities and why deny it, of anonymous ones. “Those flat bellies that we see on famous women every day and even shortly after giving birth do not reflect the reality of other women. As we live in a society where more and more importance is given to the body and thinness is the ideal of beauty, this question can make a woman feel less self-esteem or even visualize her body in a distorted way. In fact, if we ask this question to someone with fatphobia, their fear of getting fat or being fat may increase. They can feel humiliated, mistreated and even ridiculed,” comments Dr. Marta Sánchez-Dehesa, Director of HM IMI Toledo.
Lady Gaga, Selena Gomez, Amy Schumer, Ashley Graham and Anne Hathaway have been other celebrities who have had to deny pregnancy rumors when an image came to light in which they do not have an absolutely flat stomach. . “I wanted to let you know that I am immersed in another cycle of in vitro fertilization to try to rescue the eggs I can and thus produce strong and healthy embryos,” model Chrissy Teigen explained on her social networks. “I humbly beg you to stop asking me if I am pregnant. Although I know that you say it with enthusiasm and good intentions, it is painful to read those comments, because precisely my situation is the opposite of pregnancy! “She concluded.
A similar case was experienced by Kourtney Kardashian, who, upon observing that the comments were filled with comments about her body and allusions to a possible pregnancy, not only silenced those who dared to trespass on her privacy, but also pointed out that they do not talk about it enough. of in vitro fertilization and its consequences. “It is one of the consequences of in vitro fertilization, and I am only responding to this comment because I think it is important to know how it affects women’s bodies, an aspect that is not talked about enough… Also, are we really still asking to women if they are pregnant? the businesswoman asked.
Taking into account that according to the Spanish Fertility Society, 15-20% of Spanish couples have problems having children, we asked David González Gerpe, psychologist at the Ginemed assisted reproduction clinics, what effect this question can have on a woman with problems getting pregnant. “I could connect it to her disability or her reproductive difficulty. Let us not forget that problems in achieving pregnancy often involve grief, and any issue that reconnects with this grief can generate great sadness and anguish. It must also be taken into account that infertility can break femininity and increase maternal desire. Many women who dream of getting pregnant, but do not achieve it, may feel depressed and hopeless,” he says.
Andrea Duro believes that questions about pregnancy, in most cases, are not asked with malicious intent, but highlights how harmful they can be for those who want to be a mother and are having problems achieving it. “It doesn’t bother me because being a mother is not a goal in my life right now. If I have a child, it will be the day that I feel like it and that I feel qualified to give him a good life and a good emotional education. It is a question that hurts, because there are many women who want to be mothers and cannot. Only in cases of extreme confidence could it be asked, but it is not a question that can be thrown out wildly. There are women who go through fertilization processes and undergo many treatments and suffer a lot throughout the process, and of course, their bodies change with these processes,” explains the actress.
Of course, we must not also forget the possibility that the question before us today implicitly criticizes the female body. Dr Marta Sánchez Dehesa believes that this question also reflects that there is a normative vision of the human body and a difficulty in accepting diverse bodies. “It is not taken into account that in many cases these diverse bodies have nothing to do with care or healthy lifestyle habits. However, the woman who receives the question is likely to interpret it as a criticism of her body, as she may feel that they are questioning her physique,” she says. These issues represent a new case of body shaming and at the same time, they reinforce the idea that a woman of childbearing age must be a mother, which calls into question the freedom of women to choose whether to be mothers or not. “For the record, I am not pregnant. What I am is fed up. Fed up with the scrutiny and body shaming that occurs disguised as journalism, freedom of expression and celebrity news,” wrote Jennifer Aniston in The Huffington Post. “The objectification and scrutiny to which we subject women is absurd and disturbing. Are you pregnant? Is she eating too much? “Has she been careless?”, pointed out the actress.
Finally, we asked Dr Marta Sánchez-Dehesa how to respond to this uncomfortable question, taking into account the proximity of Christmas, when comments about the bodies of diners and the social and family pressure imposed on those who are not mothers are imminent, it does not hurt to have a good artillery of prepared responses. “You can answer in many ways or by giving an example that may bother the other person. Another formula is completely the opposite, that is, responding positively to the person making the comment with another adjective. Another way to respond is to say that you are excited to be reminded that you are fat… The most reasonable thing is that you do not let the comment go and that you politely explain to the person how inappropriate their comment was and what you felt when making it,” he assures.
2023-12-22 05:14:57
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