‘Should I have my daughter (11) eviscerated?’ † Mom

“My 11-year-old daughter has been gaining weight for a while now,” says Anne. “At first I let that go a bit, but now I see that she is really getting solid. I think I have to intervene in this, but I’m not sure how I do that without risking damaging her self-confidence.”

“At home we almost always eat healthy, but there is always sweets and cookies in the house that she eats from. I also notice that she often gets treats at school and that she eats a lot of sweets with friends after school. I want to slow her down a bit here, but I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing to have her die. I’m afraid it’s not good for her self-image if I suggest that, but something has to be done. What can I do?”

Never do

Pediatric dietitian Dominique Flink strongly advises Anne not to have her daughter die. “You should never do that with children,” she says. “If you start a child of this age on a diet, it can have negative consequences later in life. A seed can be planted that will cause your child to diet continuously later on because she thinks that’s the only way to lose weight. It can also cause your child to have a complicated relationship with food later on. An eating disorder can even be developed.”

To prevent

Flink sees many parents in her practice with children with the same request for help, so she understands Anne’s situation well. “I speak to many parents who used to always have a line themselves and want to prevent that in their child. On the contrary, they ask for a diet for their child, because they think that they will be well in the future. I always tell them that we are not going to start with that.”

Healthy food and exercise

“You achieve much more by working on a healthy diet and exercise pattern. Make sure your child feels as fit and healthy as possible and work towards a healthy weight. That works much better than a diet, in which children often cut their calories much lower than their daily requirement. Everything is removed from the diet, causing a shortage of various nutrients. That is not good for growth and development: an adolescent brain and body is still developing and needs those building blocks.”

Nutrients

Flink is therefore in favor of carefully mapping out a child’s nutritional needs and adjusting the diet accordingly. “It is advisable to enlist the help of a pediatric dietitian or a nutritionist for this. You want to teach your child what she needs and how she can start to feel fitter. You can also do this yourself by looking up online what nutrients a child of her age should be getting. There are guidelines for that. To see specifically whether these guidelines really apply to your child, it is also useful to engage an expert.”

Self image

Flink emphasizes that Anne should convey the message to her daughter without emphasizing that her weight is too high. “Tell her that you see that she eats things that you as a mother think: that can be healthier. Suggest that you study together what you can do to break her diet and then do it together, as a family. Don’t use the word dieting, it can indeed have a negative effect on her self-image.”

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