The third day has a very special meaning at many world-changing events. Jesus, for example – the older ones among us still know him from religious education – rose from the dead on the third day after his death. From the third day of absence due to illness, an employer is allowed to request a sick note from their employee – and on the third day of “Celebrity Big Brother” this season, the first power struggle in the hierarchy gap between management levels (Big Brother/ Sat.1) and middle intellectual management (Elena Miras).
This column represents Marie von den Benken’s point of view. Find out how our editorial team deals with opinions in texts.
Luckily there is no trash union, because if the Swiss shallow TV legend Miras had been organized in the IG Reality-TV, there would have been a ruthless labor dispute long before the first forced de-registration of a D-celebrity shared apartment protagonist. “We’re here, we’re loud, because Mike Heiter is doing shit!”
So what had happened? Elena Miras, who had already documented her secret passion for law, previously unknown to the public, the day before when she spent minutes in a monologue informing the editors in the consultation room about the legal details of her employment contract, has still not found peace 24 hours later and is still struggling As before, Sat.1 is increasingly using it in the direct context of ex-lover Mike Heiter.
It remains to be seen how surprising this constellation actually occurs when, as a long-standing reality TV couple, together with their offspring and subsequent ongoing media feud, they act together again in a TV format for the first time. Or as roommate Alida Kurras knows: “If I go in and I know my ex is in there, then I have to expect it!” On the other hand: Alida Kurras was Jürgen Milski’s cheating playmate, so perhaps she should be more cautious about giving advice on the subject of relationships. Max Kruse, who is still quite a virgin in the trash TV circus, enjoys the role of the quiet but very concentrated listener and then analyzes Elena’s performance as follows: “As a bystander who knows nothing, it seemed a bit exaggerated.”
Elena Miras and “Big Brother” clash
After another meeting in the consulting room, the situation between Miras and Big Brother escalates. Miras insults the makers of the TV show in which she is currently taking part (voluntarily and for a very large fee) as “disgusting” and howls that she would “not allow anything to be forced.” Shaken by crying fits, she appeals to Sat.1: “I’m here as Elena, he’s here as Mike, his girlfriend is here! Stop it! Have respect!”
While Miras gesticulates wildly and demands more “respect” from the organizer of the insolvency avoidance festival, Leyla Lahouar, who is also residing in the stars’ container house, the new girlfriend of Miras’ ex Mike, fears that she could possibly lose the man of her dreams to his ex-girlfriend: ” You have such a sparkle in your eyes!” Or maybe someone just turned on a lamp at the back of Heiter’s head. Mike himself is cognitively on the ball and analyzes quickly and accurately: “I have the feeling I’m walking in a minefield!” Nodding sympathetically, the guys from the D-Celebrity group offer a little consolation to Lady Di of the Container Royals.
Mike Heiter, who is visibly concerned with de-escalation and gossip-verbal disarmament, spends the rest of the evening assuring his Leyla that the presence of Elena Miras cannot, in any conceivable scenario, end in an amorous reunion. In a surprisingly calm manner, he also endures the reporting from harmony truffle pig Daniel Lopes, who tells him scaldingly that Elena has reported details about the separation between her and him, which do not necessarily make Mike look like an ultra-sympathetic model gentleman.
Relaxed and without any impulse to start the super argument that is actually obligatory on trash TV, Mike sits in the consulting room and explains that although “everything wasn’t as Daniel described it,” but that he wasn’t will be discussed because he doesn’t know whether Daniel would have actually passed on everything 1:1 the way Elena actually told it, and: “That’s always something like silent mail!” Some scene connoisseurs have their mouths hanging open in amazement in front of their TV sets at home. In such a situation, one would probably have expected the excessively tattooed Mike Heiter to smash the container to pieces in a kind of processing fit, swear Elena Mira’s eternal enmity and leave his remaining reputation in ruins. Well, apparently time not only heals all wounds, but also turns flirt TV long-running favorites into grown men.
Verena Kerth: With Ronaldo in the VIP toilet
In order to give the gossip-spoiled fan base of the “Celebrity Big Brother” sensational format moderated by breakfast television icons Marlene Lufen and Jochen Schropp a few more discussion templates in addition to the full-length Miras/Heiter/Lahouar triangle of horror, the presence of mind switches on Marc Terenzi’s former probation officer, Verena Kerth, reports to the astonished oatmeal working group: “I was once in a VIP toilet with Ronaldo and he asked me if I was Brazilian!” I know horror films that started like this and Boris Becker also always gets really sick when he hears stories about women close to celebrities who briefly retreat to a small establishment with well-known men, hidden from view. If you get the chance, please google “Semen Robbery Laundry Room”. Matze Höhn, the Al Pacino from “Berlin Day and Night,” is visibly impressed and attests to Verena Kerth: “You really have style!” I shouldn’t have to explain Kerth’s closeness to football professionals with questionable egos, right? Just this much: “There’s the thing!”
When it comes to Ronaldo, Elena Miras’ remote diagnostician Max Kruse is finally ready to speak out publicly and asks a specific question to better classify the toilet personnel: “Who now, the fat Ronaldo or the other one?” Mimi Fiedler doesn’t know the story, but she does have an anecdote about the thin Ronaldo: “He’s not married, he still has children, but from a foster mother… no, surrogate mother… womb!” De jure, one would probably have to accept both last answers, but Mimi’s excursion into the reproductive philosophy of (in this case) Cristiano Ronaldo is not helpful in terms of attempts to identify which Ronaldo it might be.
Ultimately, it’s Mike again who can finally clarify the issue: “There’s also one in Düsseldorf that’s called that. A pizzeria!” He also attests to Kerth that she should probably have stuck with it: “I’ll tell it like it is, that was the chance of a lifetime!” Matze Höhn, who always looks a bit like Harry Kane’s little brother, who has been hanging out in a jogger on his extremely rich brother’s couch for three years, thinks even further: “Then you would now have this Netflix series instead of his girlfriend!” The Brazilian from Munich has to laugh heartily. But only for a few seconds, because Höhn adds nonchalantly: “That would have been another upgrade to Olli Kahn!”
“Who is Olli Kahn?”
Where Mimi Fiedler found an anecdote about Cristiano Ronaldo in her long-term memory, she leaves it on the subject of the former goalkeeper who liked to invade Verena Kerth’s penalty area: “Who is Olli Kahn?” Unfortunately, there is no time left to give her some interesting interview snippets from the former titan. At the latest at “Eggs, we need eggs!” she would certainly have remembered.
Keyword eggs: Former Nine Live Call-In grand con artist Alida Kurras has a fairly robust view of social media commentators with little in the way of constructive criticism. When Elena reports that after her participation in the jungle camp she received numerous comments saying that she should be reported to the youth welfare office and that her daughter should be taken away from her, amateur judge Kurras says: “I would castrate people like that!”
Apart from the fact that the surgical elimination of the fertility of living beings through gonadectomy is considered a controversial disciplinary option in modern criminal law, the causal chain “Elena Miras took part in the jungle camp – so she is a bad mother – so you have to take her daughter away” is valid Hard to beat brain cracking. Even if I personally would not necessarily lean towards an orchiectomy for men or an oophorectomy for women as a formal legal compensation for this idiotic demand, I think that participants in the discourse who pour out such intellectual declarations of bankruptcy in the comment columns should definitely be deprived of the Internet for a few years .
Mimi Fiedler: “Dirty sex is really good sex”
Mimi Fiedler uses the heated atmosphere to elevate her somewhat rusty sex life to the next main topic: “Dirty sex is really good sex, not the kind of wooden sex where you don’t know exactly what the other person is doing, but I could have sex again!” Ronaldo-Gspusi Verena Kerth is pragmatic and suggests: “Jochen is lying there!” After a brief mock discussion as to whether super gigolo Jochen Horst, who was chilling in bed next door, might be interested in having sex with Mimi Fiedler, Kerth makes the verdict from a business perspective: “Business administration, fourth chapter of contracts: silence is considered consent!”
I never studied business administration, like P1-Inventar Kerth apparently did, so I can’t confirm this without a doubt. But if the legal situation is structured like that, it also explains the behavior of many business students at the Oktoberfest. This scientific view of coitus motivates some additional sex confessions, in which Cecilia Aroso, for example, reports on her fetishes: “If you put my feet in your mouth, I’m happy!” How dirty this type of sex is probably depends on how long it has been since the last foot bath.
In order to avoid a bit of typical “Celebrity Big Brother” boredom at the end, the teams Leyla/Mimi and Verena/Alida have to build trains in the games arena. Leyla and Mimi lose and then have to give nomination protection to one of the two winners. You choose Alida. Conversely, which comes as no surprise, Alida/Verena have to award the nomination for the hit list to Leyla or Mimi. After the typical “we like everyone, but we have to” banter, they decide on Leyla. It is still unclear when the nomination heads will finally be nailed down and the first D-celebrity will be released into open prison. There may be more information about this tomorrow. See you then!
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