Former boxing champion Chris Eubank has recently made headlines for his confrontation with iconic English footballer Paul Gascoigne, better known as Gazza. In a public event, the two personalities engaged in a fiery exchange after Eubank expressed his disapproval of Gazza’s negative and tragic description of his life experiences. The incident has sparked discussion about the impact of public figures’ words and the importance of reframing narratives. In this article, we explore the significance of Eubank’s statement and why it’s crucial to change the way we talk about difficult experiences.
If you had told me a few years ago that Danny Dyer, the beloved cockney archetype and sentient toby jug, would be keeping eight British celebrities in a dark bunker in the middle of nowhere by 2023, I would have simply said, “Danny Dyer can do what he likes. The man is a prince.” But, if you had also mentioned that it would just be on a Channel 4 reality show called Scared of the Dark, I would have said, with disappointment, “aw”.
Scared of the Dark features celebrities being deprived of light and toyed with by Dyer and his sidekick, the clinical psychiatrist Dr Tharaka Gunarathne. Sigmund Freud’s model of psychoanalysis involves a patient on a couch discussing their life while a professional sits beside them asking insightful questions and taking notes. Yawn. Boring! On the other hand, Dr T’s school of psychiatry involves placing clients in a pitch-black bunker for days on end and spying on them with night-vision cameras as they bumble about, shrieking, and as Danny Dyer says things like, “He smashed his nut!”
Celebrities are a plentiful byproduct of Britain’s prolific cultural industries, so television producers now add them to everything they create. In Scared of the Dark, they arrive in individual Range Rovers and must negotiate a pitch-black room around which their own belongings have been placed before being ushered into the lightless bunker. From then on, viewers watch them with the night-vision cameras, so everything is in shades of grey.
The celebrities each respond to their plight differently. While the Sandman actor Donna Preston shrieks so much one could assume she’s trying echolocation, the comedian Chris McCausland, who is blind and accustomed to navigating without sight,helps the others a lot. (This is the most interesting thing about the show.) Chris Eubank, who wears glasses, frequently sounds like a malfunctioning AI moments before it decides to dispense with the human race. The first task involves Donna navigating a selection of padlocked doors in the darkness while pursued by a seven-foot high, chain-clanking figure called the Shadow.
Later on, Gazza, a former footballer, shares a vulgar and sexist story about meeting Margaret Thatcher, to which Chris Eubank hisses, “I would like you to stop talking so tragically about your life.” They are then told they all have to partner up for a task, and Eubank is partnered with the pop singer Max George, whom he calls “Alex”. At a certain point, Scarlett Moffatt, a reality-television star, is introduced to the bunker wearing night-vision goggles. Danny Dyer instructs her via an earpiece to toy with the other celebrities.
There’s a later task in which various celebrities walk across what they think is a beam across a huge drop (actually just a foot or so) in order to win time in a “light chamber”.Yes, they’re rationing light. But that’s enough of the modern therapeutic method. What’s more interesting is that Chris Eubank has stopped speaking and goes to lie on his bed before perching on a sort of shelf in the darkness. “Remember, they can’t see Chris Eubank,” explains Dr T. “Chris Eubank!” they cry again, with more desperation.
In the end, the celebrities will all be out of the bunker eventually, so there’s something new for us to worry about: bunker-dwelling celebrity mole-people looming from the darkness. Scared of the Dark is an entertaining, albeit bizarre, reality programme that seems to tick all the boxes: darkness, anxiety, and celebrities.
In conclusion, Chris Eubank’s rebuke to Gazza speaks volumes about the power of language to shape our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. By insisting that Gazza stop talking about his life in such tragic terms, Eubank is reminding us all of the importance of positivity and resilience in the face of adversity. Whether we are coping with personal challenges or simply trying to get through our day-to-day routines, how we speak about ourselves and our experiences can have a profound impact on our mental and emotional well-being. So let us all take a lesson from Chris Eubank and choose our words wisely, using them to lift ourselves and others up, rather than bringing them down.