That is one of the many comments that can be read in it online condolence register. Thousands of people want to say a final greeting to Melissa Kremer, who died of leukemia this week.
The website server collapses under almost all messages: “Due to the enormous interest, the registry may be loading a bit slower. We apologize for the inconvenience,” the site reads.
Bright spots
Also on her own Instagram page the reactions are pouring in. “I am so grateful to you, dear Melissa, for the amount of points of light you have given this world. And for teaching us all how to see them. You are the most beautiful star imaginable up there. miss “, writes presenter Linda Hakeboom, who herself was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.
In recent months, Melissa’s followers have intensely sympathized with Melissa, who shared videos about her illness until the last moment. She did everything she could to make it to Christmas. This worked against the expectations of doctors, but slowly things got worse.
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‘Felt like a girlfriend’
“In recent weeks it has become increasingly quiet on her Instagram page”, says Kim Gringhuis Ottens (33) from Assen. She developed breast cancer at the age of 27, which had spread to her lymph nodes. She had been following Melissa for years. “She was an example, and because she shared so much, you really felt like you knew her. It made her feel like a friend to me.
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Her death had a big impact. “Even though you felt it coming, I was shocked when I saw it on Instagram. I was very sad, still get a lump in my throat when I talk about it. I sometimes wonder: if she had more time how much more beautiful could she have contributed? “
Confronting
“She was such a strong, pure and honest person,” she says. “I loved it so much that she always said: I’m not the cancer, I’m just Melissa. She was also just a young woman who was developing herself.”
Since Kim was also ill (she got her last medication last week), the stories Melissa shared were, at times, quite confrontational. “You knew she was not going to make it, and that may also be the reality for me. The cancer can come back. But precisely because of how she was in it and how she dealt with it, it gave me a lot of support. She understood exactly. however I felt, and was able to express that very beautifully and honestly. With that she also gave me a voice. “
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Breaking the taboo
Sophia (27) also followed Melissa on Instagram last year. “She has broken the taboo on young and dying,” she says.
Sophia was eighteen when she discovered a lump in her neck and was diagnosed with lymph node cancer not much later. Like Melissa, she too struggled with her loneliness and mortality. “I had good chances of survival, but during the treatment I became critically ill and I was suddenly also concerned with the thought that I was mortal. As an eighteen year old you think you are immortal, at least I was not concerned with death.”
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Example for others
Until that cancer diagnosis. According to Sophia, Melissa was a support for young cancer patients, but also for friends and family of young people who have cancer. “Melissa showed how raw the disease is. She took a video in tears, shared her loneliness and showed how tough such a treatment is. It was an eye-opener for people further away from the disease process.”
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Sophia also recognized that people treat you differently when you have cancer. “Many friends said to me, ‘It will be okay’, thereby trivializing the fear of death. Others said that they are afraid of losing you. I found it strong that Melissa also shared these struggles. It gives recognition to young people with cancer and insight for friends. “
Raw reality
“Melissa was really just the raw version of the program Over Mijn Corpse. She showed the harsh reality: 90 percent of the time you are just sick and afraid of death.”
“I was lucky enough to get better, but Melissa lived for a year with the message that she wouldn’t get better. It’s incredibly complicated how you should organize your life. Because you are more than that terminal cancer patient. That she told Jinek very nicely. She was an inspiration to many. “
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Young people and cancer
In the Netherlands, between 2,700 and 3,900 young adults are told, just like Melissa, that they have cancer. That turns their lives upside down.
It is especially for this group of patients AYA Care network established. Before Melissa ended up in the terminal phase, she was active in setting up AYA care in Amsterdam.
AYAs have unique medical and psychosocial care needs typical of their stage of life. They have questions about illness and treatments and their consequences for fertility, studying, entering the labor market, buying a house or entering into relationships.
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