A charming, charming man. This is how his exes portray L. – especially at the beginning of the relationship. The man, who earns his living as a hairdresser during the relationships and is a fanatic amateur football player on weekends, meets women through dating apps and at festivals.
He makes no secret of the fact that the 29-year-old sports enthusiast has a great eye for feminine beauty. But when he meets Nina four years younger via a dating app, he immediately shows how serious he is about her. He wants her to be the mother of his child. Nina: “I always wanted to be a mother at a young age, our relationship was good, so we went for it.”
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At that time, Nina already notices that L. often has pills in his inside pocket. “When I asked him about it, he said: those are ecstasy pills.” As Nina’s pregnancy progresses, she gets striking complaints. When she is thirteen weeks pregnant, she has to be admitted with a kidney infection, a laryngitis and a mouth full of canker sores. “After the delivery, the lymph nodes were swollen all over my body. They even surgically removed a gland, but couldn’t find what I had.”
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Kimberley also gets vague physical complaints not long after the start of her relationship with L.. “About two weeks after we first had sex, I ended up in the hospital with a very high fever and a severe pain in my lower abdomen. I was put through the mangle, but they couldn’t find what I had.”
In the end, Kimberley stays with L for two years. A relationship with many ups and downs. “It was fun at first, but I soon found out that he was never the cause. Even if he showed up an hour late for an appointment himself, he managed to make it so that I was the culprit.”
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Both women soon find out that the Rotterdammer is not very monogamous. Shortly after the birth of their daughter, Nina investigates, because she has the feeling that L. is cheating. She checks his email, but comes across something far more disturbing. In his deleted items is an email from the hospital – department of internal medicine – that L’s medicines are ‘ready’.
Nina’s gut feeling tells her that something is very wrong – yet she still doesn’t know what drugs L. is taking. That penny only drops when she undergoes examinations in the hospital for the umpteenth time because of vague, physical complaints. “When I was diagnosed with HIV, my world collapsed. I went to talk to L., but he slammed shut. Nothing just came out.”
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Because L. himself conceals his illness, according to his ex-partners, they warn the women who have or have had a relationship with him. In a short time L. has recently become a father several times.
What also plays a role in sounding the alarm is that in the eyes of the women, L. handles his medication recklessly and often does not take them. Nina: “With this disease, you must faithfully take your medicines every day, otherwise you can become resistant to the medicines, and you also transmit the virus more quickly. I am lucky that our daughter was not infected at birth.”
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The counter is now at six, says Kimberley, who at Nina’s insistence has her blood tested when they find out that they had had a relationship with L. at the same time. “We are now with six women who have contracted HIV through L. I’m afraid he may have carried it with him for a long time. L.’s brother died of AIDS a few years ago. Then you start thinking: have they may have contracted it very early in their lives?”
Just last December, Kimberley approaches a friend of L.’s, Wendy, with an urgent request to get tested. Wendy: “It turned out I had chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV.”
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At the end of 2020, Nina will take the plunge and report serious abuse against her daughter’s father to the police in Rotterdam for ‘consciously transferring the HIV virus’ to her. Kimberley follows a month later, and Wendy recently went to the police to report aggravated assault.
Their story is heard open-mouthed by the police, the women feel heard and the people who record their declaration make no secret of the fact that they find the story astonishing. Yet all three women hear that the cases are being dropped for the main reason: lack of evidence.
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According to a spokesperson for the Public Prosecution Service, it is “legally impossible” to prosecute L.. “We know from previous, comparable cases that such a case will not stand up in court. It is impossible to prove that the women contracted the HIV virus specifically through this man.” The Public Prosecution Service also points to the ‘women’s own responsibility’. The spokesperson emphasizes that this is a ‘legal assessment’. “It is very reprehensible from a human point of view what happened to the women, but from a legal point of view, that responsibility weighs in.”
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Annemiek van Spanje – who assists the three women – acknowledges that it is legally complicated. But according to her there is evidence and she cannot believe that an investigation has not even been launched. “He has had a long-term relationship with all three women. All three women were subsequently diagnosed with HIV. He was confronted with this several times. He was asked several times to do a test.” Van Spanje now wants to try to enforce prosecution through the court. “The women hope to reach other women who have experienced the same with L. Women who are living with HIV unknowingly.”
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The names of the three women in this article have been changed. Their real names are known to the editors, as is the full name of the man from the story.
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