Director’s cut He was a rebel. is a work for which you will appreciate that the Netflix control gives the possibility to speed up the playback one and a half times. Originally released last December and then this April, Zack Snyder extended the two films to a total of six hours, adding violence and nudity to create his perfect vision. But it was impossible to dig out of this mud.
Only the director’s version He was a rebel. from unrecognized genius / cinematic terrorist Zack Snyder, two things are confirmed.
1) There is actually quite a lot different and new.
2) It’s still shit.
On the other hand, what movie in the space of a few tens of seconds offers you a view of the brutal burning of brands with a hot iron on full-frontal captured, exposed female bodies, immediately followed by the suicidal assassination of a cute tiny alien pet, followed by a detailed beating and brain draining ?
And please, we are at the very beginning. In a moment, you will see Sofia Boutella as the main character of Kora, as God created her. Nothing improves the quality of a B-movie action movie like a really sweaty bed scene. And don’t worry, there will be more. One is even almost four minutes long. After all, that’s also why the trailer embedded below has an age restriction.
Most of the extras in the director’s cut look like they were invented by a thirteen-year-old teenager. Blood and breasts. And ten times more words “fuck” in dialogues. Zack, you crazy son of a bitch, you did it! You did it Rebel Moon make it even more stupid.
Already the original two-shot – about how a galactic gigacruiser full of villains arrives to bully a single village for grain, after which a handful of strange heroes begin to defend it – vacillated between complete stupidity and cheap boredom.
Both parts ripped off Star Wars, Harry Potter, Seven Samurai, Riddick, and every sci-fi you can think of. Mainly the world of Warhammer (“Because it’s really thick and rough and bloody and dark and Henry Cavill wants to film it too,” as if we could hear Snyder’s voice). And when they weren’t stealing them, they were ridiculously self-absorbed, instead of naturally advancing the story, they composed one embarrassing monologue after another, vainly and vainly trying to build the impression of a vast fictional universe…
All that remains. And most importantly – slow motion footage of the grain harvest – luckily too!!!
But in the director’s cut, you’ll see more skulls being thrown into the spaceship’s cauldron. Also more penisoid tentacles. Much more of a robot with antlers and the voice of Oscar-winning actor Sir Anthony Hopkins. More aliens from prostitutes to skull hunters. More priests who collect the teeth of the dead. More giant living statues powering starships.
None of this nonsense at all He was a rebel. it does not explain and does not change the experience of it.
Well, not to spoil it, some new scenes add a little more depth to the heroic group and their relationships. If there is at least one person on the planet who for some reason was interested in the history of the protagonist Kora or the star empire, they will also learn more about them. Anthony Robopkins is pretty rough and comically cool at times. And perhaps the animated sculptures are at least a mildly interesting idea.
Director’s cut He was a rebel. but it feels even more like a story movie from some edgy video game from 2005. Bland, cheap, over-the-top, stupid – and trying too hard to be serious. But at the same time, he does it in such a wickedly entertaining way that you wonder how low he can go. Perhaps half of Snyder’s films have a director’s cut. He brought improvement to Justice League. With Rebel Moon, it’s a punishment.
For some reason, old movies boast new subtitles. The first is called Chalice of Blood, the second is called Curse of Forgiveness. Perhaps Snyder polled his cultist fans in the comments on Facebook, which confirmed that these are much more brutal titles than Fireborn and Scarface.
And indeed, it’s another masterstroke by the director and screenwriter in one person. The goblet of blood (and the audience’s patience) will indeed overflow about a million times over in Rebel Moon. And Zack Snyder should also beg us for forgiveness, because those six hours are a curse.
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