When I was pregnant, I actually had no idea what to expect. I was mainly busy buying a lot of clothes.
Zen birthers
I also didn’t think too much about the birth. I wanted to give birth in a bath, but I didn’t need all kinds of frills. No candles, salt lamps or incense. No music either, it would mainly be a quiet affair. I definitely didn’t expect any hysterical screaming on my part. I’m a down-to-earth type, I thought. Swear words: probably. Screaming: no. That’s how I pictured it. Well, you guessed it: at the supreme moment there was a lot of screaming. Want to stay zen and puff along quietly? I couldn’t do that one bit. It was a warm day in April and all the windows were open. I literally screamed the whole street. And I didn’t end up in that bath. The sweat was pouring off my body, I didn’t feel like having hot water at all! In other words: I turned out not to be a Zen lover. I have a tremendous amount of respect for women who can do this. Being composed, keeping control, puffing along quietly: I couldn’t do any of it. Maybe I should have bought that salt lamp after all.
Long feeders
When I was pregnant I also decided to breastfeed. Of course I was aware of the proverbial obstacles. This is how I knew that my nipples could become cracked and that it was not self-evident that the milk would gush out in liters at a time. I was somewhat prepared for setbacks (read: I bought nipple shields), but mostly I thought breastfeeding would be fun. I read about the sweet, intimate moments mothers had with their babies while breastfeeding. How magical it felt that their child grew up thanks to their breast milk. It seemed crazy to me. If it weren’t for the fact that in practice it turned out to be quite a situation. If you also want to have a life, for example. I soon started pumping, but man, what a hassle it is. I carried those devices, including a cool bag and empty bottles, everywhere with me. Countless times I had to deal with mediocre or missing pumping areas and people who had absolutely no idea what I was doing with those devices. I did indeed enjoy ‘live feeding’, as seasoned breastfeeders call it, but I also encountered my own impatience. My child regularly took a lot of time (read: more than an hour). Very nice, if you have no life. I find it a miracle that there are quite a few long feeders. These are mothers who breastfeed for more than one year, but sometimes even two, three, four or even more years. I have a lot of respect for that. And I secretly would like to know how they do that. In combination with a life and all that.
Multiple mothers
Above all, I have great respect for multiple mothers. I find raising one child quite challenging at times. Just like carrying one child and giving birth to one child. And feeding one child, that is. If I had two at once, you could carry me away. Two babies at the breast, two babies screaming each other awake at night, two babies wanting your attention. Well, send in the auxiliary troops, I say! And a truckload of salt lamps and nipple shields, please.
Tara (29) is mother of daughter Rosie (10 months). Follow her momlife via Instagram.com/tarastokdijk
2024-03-11 18:06:20
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