The wave of immigration continues, and many of those leaving Hong Kong are families. Parents should also take care of their children’s feelings when preparing for immigration. Psychologist Dr. Li Weitang shared tips with parents to help their children face immigration, so that parents can prepare their children psychologically for the transition brought about by over-immigration.
How do children understand immigration?
Children and adults have different understandings of immigration. The younger the children, the more they tend to think that emigrating and moving houses are equivalent to going to play, and they can go home after the end, and it is like going on a trip. They can return to Hong Kong after a few days of fun. Therefore, parents should clearly instill a message to their children that immigration means going to a far away place, and it is not easy to turn back.
Make good use of visual cues to teach young children
Dr. Li Weitang reminded parents that the younger the children, the more they need visual cues, and visual cues are easier to understand than verbal descriptions. Parents can use toys or picture books about moving and immigration to tell their children through dolls or pictures: the immigrant representative is going to a very far away place, and except for family members, all the things in the family will be moved there.
Engage Your Child in Reducing Anxiety
Some children feel anxious when they see their toys put in the box when they move. Dr. Li Weitang explained that this is because it takes a long time for the box to be taken out, which will make children worry that the toy will be lost in the middle of delivery. To make children feel at ease, parents can ask children to seal the toy box together, and draw signs, pictures and other visual cues on the box surface to let children know that the box will arrive safely.
It is not advisable to tell children that they want to immigrate too early
Children’s sense of security comes from whether the event is within the prediction or the sense of control over the matter. If the child is told to immigrate too early, but no action is taken during the process, the child will feel inexplicable and anxious. Dr. Li Weitang suggested that it is best for parents to tell their children about their decision to immigrate about 2-3 weeks before when they need to hold a house.
Parents can let their children participate in the packing process, and they can also mark the date of immigration and the things to be done every day on the calendar, and cross the dates as each day passes, so that children feel more in control and emotionally stable .
Parents need to adjust
Children tend to imitate their parents, so if the parents express anxiety and worry, the children will also inherit this feeling and feel uneasy together. Therefore, it is best for parents to make plans to find a house and a new job by themselves, so as to reduce their worries about the unknown. When children see that their parents are calm and not flustered, they will naturally be relatively stable and calm.
Bringing routines of daily activities offsite
When you come to a new place, if the environment and daily routine are completely changed, it is easy to make children emotional. At the same time, it is not necessary for children to go to school immediately after immigrating, and there will be more free time. Dr. Li Weitang suggested that parents, during this gap period, try to follow the routine of daily life in Hong Kong and maintain a similar rhythm of life. , parents can arrange activities, online classes, etc., and try to keep the timetable in Hong Kong as much as possible. Children will adapt more easily and have a sense of control.
Say Goodbye to good friends
Children in high elementary school will be more reluctant to part with their classmates. Parents should clearly let the children understand that after immigrating, they can no longer play with classmates in person, but it does not mean that they will lose friends. Children can still keep in touch, such as making appointments for video chats and playing online games together. Parents can also remind their children to call their classmates to keep them in touch.
Dr. Li Weitang reminded parents, try not to tell the children categorically that they will never return to Hong Kong, so as not to make the children feel that things will disappear. Some children worry that they will never see their loved ones, which leads to anxiety. Parents can explain to their children that although immigrants will move far away, they can return to Hong Kong to visit relatives and friends when they have the opportunity, leaving children with hope.
Give your child time to adjust
Dr. Li Weitang pointed out that the time for children to adapt depends on how much the environment changes. If they move to a country completely different from Hong Kong, children will usually be able to adapt after a month. During the first week or two of moving, it is common for children to lose their temper, cry easily, and wake up easily.
Some children who are prone to anxiety will take a long time to adapt to environmental changes. For example, it takes a month to start to feel stable when they start working in shift N, or it takes a week to recover after a long vacation. . Dr. Li Weitang suggested that parents of this type of children can make more preparations with their children, such as role-playing with children, or try to show their children more about the future living environment, so that children can predict the future as much as possible, so as to ease their anxiety feel. Parents should also pay attention. If a child is obviously affected by anxiety, has persistent nightmares, bedwetting, temper tantrums, loss of appetite, tears, etc., parents should seek professional help.
Psychologist Dr. Li Weitang
Psychologist, clinical psychotherapist, heart. start. The founder of Qing Professional Counseling Institute/Mental Health Center, who has been engaged in psychotherapy and education for many years, assisting parties, including adults, parents, and children, to understand and untie unspeakable feelings, to grow healthier and happier; at the same time, Dr. Li often appears in different media Share the experience of raising children and adjusting emotions, improve civic education, and let the public pay more attention to emotional, social, and parenting health.
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