An emotional obituary last week in the Volkskrant. Pepijn’s parents had to report that their 14-year-old son is no longer there. Pepijn was a student of the 4th Gymnasium in Amsterdam, a sweet, quiet boy who had an eye for his surroundings, a powerful, young guy, a lively and curious boy, with a nice group of friends around him, his parents write in the obituary. .
Found in a tent
Because of the many questions that his death would raise, they put an accompanying letter online: Backgrounds on the death of Pepijn.
The boy had been walking with his ‘soul under his arm’ for a while. He found life boring, not exciting, there was no longer any challenge.
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“He had a lot of trouble with online education. At first he welcomed the first lockdown, because he was given a lot of freedom. But soon that enthusiasm cooled off”, his parents write. “He missed his friends. He couldn’t bear to spend hours in front of a PC for teaching, without direct control. Distraction was easily found, on his phone. Gaming. Other screens, so to speak.”
His parents write that Pepijn was found in a tent in Amsterdam-Noord on the early Saturday morning of January 16. With a small barbecue next to him with a briquette that had burned. Drugs were found in his blood and his carbon monoxide level was about 10 times the lethal dose.
According to his parents, it seems that he wanted to experience a blissful feeling again, wanted to take a trip. The drugs had to take care of that, in that tent. And the barbecue would make sure he wouldn’t get hypothermic. He’d even been smart enough to bring a carbon monoxide detector.
Slipped into a daze
“He probably took a pill, lit the brig, and lay down”, his parents say. “It has slipped into a daze, the carbon monoxide has done its job quietly and unnoticed.” Whether the reporter did not go off or whether he did not hear him because he was too far away is unclear.
But what triggered his drug use remains the question. His parents write: “Was it perhaps the lack of structure? The dullness of online school? The compulsory home sitting? The lack of exercise? The lack of real contact? The online availability of drugs? An impulsive nature. ? About his playful and adventurous spirit? About his hubris and overconfidence? About our parental supervision? You name it. “
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Not only Pepijn struggled with those major changes resulting from the corona crisis, development psychologist Yvonne van den Berg of Radboud University is convinced of this. “Teenagers have a great need for stimuli, tension and social contact. They have to discover who they are, who they want to be and where their boundaries lie, also by being able to go beyond them.”
Very difficult
“This is very difficult because of all the measures. They see few friends to whom they can compare, often the adrenaline of sports and the associated competition has disappeared and hanging out on the street with a group of friends is no longer allowed, so they have a big part of the day at home, where they can’t eat things out because their parents are home all day too. “
“Of course this does not result in something as tragic for all teenagers as with Pippin, fortunately not. But it is good to realize that the lockdown is a big problem for teenagers.”
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Pepijn’s parents now urgently call on other parents: keep your child close to you. “They need so much care in this corona age. They may be even more vulnerable than the elderly over 80. Their ‘underlying suffering’ is very different from that of the seniors, but just as fragile. Let’s hold on to them. . Really get to know. Support. They need us, they need each other. “
Drastic measures
And they appeal to politicians: “For God’s sake, let’s think carefully about what we are doing to each other and to our children with drastic measures to eradicate a virus that hardly bother them themselves, and that will never go away.”
That appeal seems to have arrived in the Lower House. GroenLinks leader Jesse Klaver referred to the obituary in a parliamentary debate and said that it ‘broke his heart’. “His death is a result of this crisis response,” he said. “We see that not only physical safety is at risk, but psychological safety is at stake.” Something that psychologists, including Yvonne van den Berg, can only confirm.
Psychological complaints
Klaver called on the cabinet to consider carefully what price young people have to pay for fighting the corona crisis. “What extra measures are going to be taken to address the psychological complaints that are now emerging in young people? Because protecting ourselves against Covid is just as important as the mental health of young people.”
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This mental health is also something that we have to keep a close eye on in the long term, says Van den Berg. “When these measures are over and the situation returns to ‘normal’, then we have to see whether this lasted short enough for young people to pick up the thread again, or whether they lag behind in their cognitive and emotional growth. No one knows. “
On Monday a private farewell to Pepijn was said.
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Do you feel lonely?
Do you ever have the feeling that you have nowhere to go because of the lockdown? You can talk about it with the Kindertelefoon.
Nice 0800-0432
You can also chat, between 11 a.m. and 9 p.m.
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