Interview
Delphine Cinier , director of PApa and Mom crack: survey on parental burnout .
How was this film about parental burnout born?
This film was partly born from my own experience in a parental nursery. Many parents, like me, said they were very tired. At a meeting, a couple said they fell asleep before their child. These parents had, according to the Montessori method, arranged a bed near the ground so that their child could lie down and get up when he wanted. The parental crèche is a great support for exchanges between parents. But it is also a challenge, because you have to take care of the nursery in addition to your work. After this meeting, I wondered about the reasons for this frequent, deep exhaustion, and the solutions to get out of it. It is also an extension of my previous film Separation, children first.
How to explain this extreme exhaustion?
With contraception, our children are wanted, scheduled, sometimes late and sometimes long overdue. These precious children are the center of family life. And society is full of injunctions about what it is to be a good parent, it makes you feel guilty. Neurosciences have shown the different stages of development of the child’s brain, which must be listened to, solicited, supported, protected without overprotecting … My mother told us: ” It’s like that. “ Today, we explain why it is like that. With a job and without a nanny, the mental load overflows.
Is this a taboo subject?
I’ve had a harder time filming exhausted parents than parents who get divorced in court. It is unthinkable, risky, to talk about it at work. And grandparents don’t always understand this overload. Many couples separate after the child is 3 years old. The age when he tests the limits and where we must give him a “reassuring framework”. We speak of “parental crash” or “baby crash”. Parental burn-out can result in physical pain, nervousness, screaming, anxiety about going home, “emotional detachment” from the child.
Among the rare places of support, the Parental Relays initiated in Nantes …
Experimental Parental Relays were created in Nantes in 2000, then in Saint-Nazaire, Cherbourg… There are about ten of them in France, linked to PMI (Maternal and Child Protection) services, five of which are managed by the Red Cross. Parents can entrust their children for a few hours, a weekend, a week. Apart from these structures, there are rare places for listening and advice, such as the educational guidance group created by a child psychiatrist at the Montpellier University Hospital. And some support groups created by women who have experienced this exhaustion.
Is Belgium ahead of taking parental burnout into account?
In 2017, the Brussels Ministry of Families and the League of Families conducted an awareness campaign called “Parentàbout”. According to a study carried out at the Catholic University of Louvain-la-Neuve, 8% of parents had suffered parental burnout and one in five parents felt the risk.
M6 , 21 h 05.
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