Fear of mispronouncing a fancy dish, too much choice on the menu or a fancy restaurant: these are some of the reasons why Gen Zers and millennials don’t feel like approaching a waiter. Julie (22) and Charlotte (27) also recognize the phenomenon of ‘order shame’. Fortunately, there is a solution to overcome that fear.
After ‘interest’, ‘order shame’ now also seems to be a thing. Still, if we can believe a survey by the British chain Prezzo. Although some people can chat with the waiter without embarrassment, others have a barrier. Gen Z in particular is having a hard time: 34 percent of British respondents aged 18 to 24 admit they ask others to speak to the waiter instead.
The slightly older group of millennials also does not like to order and is increasingly concerned about their restaurant visits. The extensive menu is the biggest culprit for 38 percent of them. There is simply too much on the menu and you always run the risk of making the wrong choice. That is why the majority of millennials already make a choice in advance via photos on Instagram. Others insist on placing their orders last at the table.
If there is a diligent waiter waiting impatiently, I applaud. Just like when the waiter looks unfriendly
Charlotte (27)
The costs – which have risen sharply in recent years – also make ordering less pleasant. Finally, there is the fear of being completely ridiculed if you say ‘moeljeej’ again when ordering a moelleux (correct pronunciation: mwe:·leu).
© Getty Images
Among the followers of the NINA Instagram page, there are also some faint-hearted people who get stressed from eating out during the holidays. Julie (22) especially feels uncomfortable in a restaurant that is too fancy. “Then it is intimidating to approach a waiter. And I also notice that I stumble over my words when ordering, especially if I don’t know the food (laugh). When it’s time to pay, I make grand gestures, but the waiter looks over me. There you are.”
Charlotte (27): “I always have choice stress. When a diligent waiter is waiting impatiently, I applaud. Just like when the waiter looks unfriendly. Sometimes I don’t feel like chatting to a stranger, same with calling someone. And why wouldn’t your dining companion simply order for both? That is faster and easier.”
It is not about a deep fear, but rather an uncomfortable feeling
Psychology professor Bram Vervliet
Psychology professor Bram Vervliet (KU Leuven) sees some explanations: “Just like with difficulty calling someone, this phenomenon may be related to the fact that we order less from a waiter. There are often QR codes that allow you to select drinks or food. The advantage is that it goes faster and for some people they also don’t have to talk to complete strangers. But it does ensure that you gain less experience. And that leads to some discomfort in the long term.”
There was also the corona crisis. Since then, people have been working from home more often, which means they have less and less contact with others. “You develop yourself by gradually gaining experiences. If you don’t do that, certain things will always remain exciting. It’s the same for those who are afraid of driving a car. The best way to get rid of it is usually to ‘just do it’.”
Bram Vervliet © rv
“It is of course more comfortable to let someone else order or not to get into that car. But that’s not how you learn it. And having a lot of choices is always stressful, isn’t it? So I understand that aspect of a menu that is too extensive.”
Prof. Vervliet points out that we should not dramatize ‘order shame’. “It is not about a deep fear, but rather an uncomfortable feeling. Young people can always learn it at a later time, for example once they have more social contacts in the professional field. And it also works the other way around: elderly people can easily order from a waiter, but they cannot always use the QR codes.”
Also read:
These are the results of happiness research that followed people for 85 years: “We underestimate the importance of interacting with someone on the train” (+)
Are you one of those people who always directs the conversation to themselves? This is what you can do if you are a ‘conversational narcissist’ (+)
Beyoncé’s secret to being so sexy and confident? “It makes you break away from who you are and shows you who you can be” (+)
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2023-12-27 10:30:51
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