Order of the Mother – Oksana Nikonovich

They say that children are the flowers of life, but what if there is a whole bouquet of them? How does a mother live surrounded by such a flower garden, where everyone has their own character, preferences and hobbies? Today Oksana Nikonovich, mother of five children, will talk about her family, small and big secrets of happiness, care and love.

The Nikonovich family is friendly. Both mom Oksana and dad Pavel, by personal example, strive to instill in their children hard work, respectful attitude towards each other and others, and support children in their endeavors. While dad is at work, mom is always in touch with the children. That’s why we address our questions to Oksana.

—Have you always dreamed of having many children?

“Like any girl, I, of course, thought about children, but I didn’t think about how many I wanted—a lot or a little.”

— What are your children’s names, how old are they, what are their hobbies?

— Eldest daughter Masha. She is 22 years old and already working. She likes to spend her free time traveling, as it is difficult for her to sit still. She prefers an active lifestyle. She taught herself to play the piano and ukulele and loves to sing. After her is Svetka, she is 17 years old. At the moment she is studying at Baranovichi Pedagogical University, so now she devotes all her attention and time to her studies. She also knows how to play the piano and loves to sing with Masha. The youngest of the girls is Vika, she is 14 years old. He enjoys drawing on a graphics tablet and loves listening to music. The eldest of the sons is Sergei, he is 11 years old. He is very active, loves playing football in the yard with the guys, catching up, and goes to volleyball at school. The youngest is Mishka, he will soon turn 2 years old. He is a very active and cheerful boy, he loves to ride on cars, fix everything around him, and especially loves to do this with a screwdriver.

— What are your children like: similar or different, friendly or not?

— Each child is an individual. They are different for us, but they are all good. Everyone is instilled with high moral principles, good upbringing, everyone understands what is bad and what is good. The eldest daughter is the most sociable of all, she easily finds a common language with almost everyone and everyone, she is active, perky, and more courageous. Svetka, on the contrary, is quiet and calm, but this does not prevent her from communicating very closely with Masha. Vika is a more homely person and loves to joke. The girls are very friendly with each other, they all get along very well, although they have completely different characters. Naturally, boys have different interests, so the son spends more time separately from girls or with friends on the street. And everyone communicates well with the little one, everyone loves him very much. As in all families, there are sometimes misunderstandings, but everything is resolved, because that’s what family is all about. Someone will give in, someone will ask for forgiveness. The older children get, the fewer disputes and minor quarrels there are between them.

— What does your typical day consist of? How do you manage everything? And are you on time?

— A typical day consists, like any mother’s, of cleaning, cooking, and washing. Someone goes to school, and at the same moment someone comes from work, then from school, you need to see someone off, and meet others, feed them. Sometimes there is a hustle and bustle, you don’t have time to do something, you get tired, but with God’s help I still manage, or at least I try to keep up. So everyone is dressed, fed and happy.

— Do the children help around the house or in looking after the younger ones, in their studies?

— They try to help where they can, but often I manage to do everything myself while they are at school or work. Especially if the baby is sleeping. Everyone helps look after the baby – from the oldest to the youngest. Older children help the younger ones do their homework if they know how and what to do.

— There is an opinion that it is difficult with one child, but with two or more it is easier. In your experience, is this true?

– Yes, I think it’s easier with two or more. I already have some experience. After the first time, you already know more, not like the first time, when everything is new, when you just learn everything, how and what.

– Who helps you (grandmothers, friends)?

— Grandparents live in the village, there aren’t many friends, and everyone has their own worries, so we don’t count on outside help. Yes, we cope well with children ourselves. So there is no need for such help.

— What do you do when you get together with the whole family?

— Everyone prefers their own kind of vacation, so we don’t often spend time with the whole family together. But sometimes we just have a pleasant time in some conversation.

— What, in your opinion, is the most important thing in raising children? What is the most important thing in relationships with children?

— In upbringing and relationships with children, the main thing is probably to try to make sure that everyone knows, sees and feels that he is loved, that the family appreciates him simply for what he is, and not for something else. And they are always happy to wait. And this is not just done in words. It is important to love everyone equally, but to have your own approach to everyone, to establish mutual understanding with each individual, not to measure everyone equally, but to treat everyone in accordance with their characteristics and character.

— Is material security more important for children or the love and care of their parents?

“More important, I think, is the love and care of parents, because the family is the place where kindness and humanity should be instilled, and not spoilage and the feeling that everything is decided by material things. This should be an example of how to be part of your family in the future. Because material things come and go, but love, care, memories laid down in childhood are forever, and they shape the child as a person in the future.

— What difficulties do large families face? How do you deal with them?

— We probably don’t have any difficulties as such. We all have enough to live on: food, shelter, finances, health, everyone studies, everyone is dressed well. We do not need anything, there is enough of everything.

— What do you think is primarily required of a husband and father in a large family?

— From the husband – support and understanding for the wife. From the father – attention, care, understanding to the children. Since a father’s love is different from a mother’s, and the love of both mother and father is very important for children. It is also up to the father to maintain behavior and upbringing at the proper level, but with love, not in extreme severity. And, of course, it is on the father’s shoulders to provide for the family’s needs, which our husband and father does an excellent job of.

— What is your secret to family happiness?

— So that everyone loves each other, is forgiving of each other’s weaknesses, and covers each other’s weaknesses with their strengths. And also the ability to forgive and value everyone’s opinion, to have your own approach to everyone.

— What is an ideal family in your opinion?

— An ideal family, I think, is where you always want to return, and once you come, you don’t want to leave. Where you can come and know that, even if you find yourself in a difficult situation, they will not scare you or blame you, but will understand, support and help you cope.