SIGGERUD (Dagbladet): It is the end of 2019. Kine has just lost her grandmother, and is in her hometown of Namsos with her daughters to prepare for the funeral. Nauy will arrive a few days later.
He lands in Namsos just a few hours before the funeral, but as he gets off the plane, Kine immediately sees that something is seriously wrong.
Her roommate is clearly intoxicated.
China is completely lost. A gasp goes through her stomach and she goes straight into survival mode.
Kine gets busy looking after the children, at the same time as she feels she must keep a close eye on her partner during the funeral. Nauy is a blur, but they get through the funeral without drama.
During the dinner afterwards, however, Nauy gets angry. He falls asleep, is not present.
– It was simply embarrassing. I drove him home and he slept for 24 hours.
When Nauy wakes up the next day, Kine gives him an ultimatum:
“Either you deny that you have started to get high, or you admit it. Then I will stand by your side.”
Mars 2023. We meet Kine and Nauy at home in the terraced house at Siggerud, just outside Oslo. Here they live together with Kine’s twelve-year-old daughter and their joint six-year-old daughter.
Nauy and Kine want to share their story because for them it is a way to move forward. To tell his truth.
Turid Wangensteen is a researcher in drug addiction and family therapy at the non-profit foundation Tyrili, which offers specialized treatment for drug addiction.
She tells Dagbladet that both relatives, children of drug addicts and drug addicts often need transparency.
– I hope people can talk about drug addiction in the same way as they talk about depression or cancer. It can be good for many to share their story, if they want to, she says.
According to Wangensteen, there is no conclusion as to whether or not one should share one’s story as a relative or substance abuse survivor. But there should be room for that, she believes.
The sun shines in in the white, stylish living room at Siggerud. Everything is apparently perfect here, and there is little evidence of the drama the couple faced just over three years ago.
When they met in 2015, Kine was aware of Nauy’s past with drug addiction. But he had been drug-free for four years, and she decided to trust that the addiction was a thing of the past.
– It hadn’t crossed my mind that he could relapse, says Kine, but admits that both she and the family were a little skeptical about his past.
The uncertainty disappeared as their love grew. Kine and Nauy moved in together, and barely two years after they met, their daughter was born.
Nauy suddenly had the life he had dreamed of, with a woman, children, a job and a home. A dream that seemed unattainable one morning in March 2009.
OVERDOSE: Nauy took an overdose in 2009. When he woke up, his right leg had been amputated. Photo: Private
sea view
That morning he woke up in the hospital after a week and a half on a ventilator. Nauy had taken an overdose of heroin.
The heart could not pump enough blood to the body, which was filled with fluid. The first thing he saw when he woke up was his brother’s face.
“Nauy, they’ve amputated your leg.”
– Then my world came crashing down. It was absolutely awesome. I cried and cried, Nauy continues.
– I thought “which lady wants me now?”
Nauy becomes silent. He wipes away the tears that press on.
Next to him on the sofa, Kine is also touched.
– I’ve never seen you like this. You never cry, she says.
At a young age he ended up in the wrong environment, and as a 13-year-old he got drunk for the first time. Since then, he has tried all kinds of drugs.
There are big dark figures, but the statistics from The Institute of Public Health estimates that there are between 8,000 and 12,000 drug addicts in Norway.
In his teens, Nauy’s life went into a dark spiral — with drugs, partying and fast money.
After the overdose in 2009, he was in and out of treatment at Mestringshusene, but lacked the motivation to stop. Before the final round of treatment, Nauy’s body was run down.
No drugs gave him any effect anymore.
– I took a cocktail of heroin, cocaine, pills and amphetamine in a syringe. When I got it in my body, I had an awakening. The head was about to explode, he says.
The cocktail was the turning point. For the first time, he wanted to get well for himself.
He moved to Kristiansand to get a new environment, and used exercise as therapy.
Nauy built himself up, and took his life back.
China and Nauy sitting closely on the sofa, holding each other. They need to be there for each other now, because life has not always been easy in recent years.
After they met, it didn’t take long before Nauy moved back to Oslo to create a life with Kine.
But in 2019, everything unraveled.
Kine was on sick leave from her job as an occupational therapist, following a depression she suffered after the birth of her youngest daughter. Nauy, who worked at the Sats fitness centre, had long days at work.
The two slipped further and further apart.
– I was very selfish and didn’t catch what he was up to, says Kine.
Nauy felt the need to reduce the stress, chose to take a pill with the drug Rivotril.
– I wanted to calm down from all the stress, he says.
24 hours later he was down at Plata.
At home, Kine noticed that Nauy was weak and tired, he could fall asleep at the dinner table, and was not present.
– I suspected that he had started to get drunk again, but I was busy with my own and the children, says Kine.
Time and again Nauy lied, claiming he had not started taking drugs again.
It was only at her grandmother’s funeral that it dawned on Kine that the worst thing imaginable had happened.
When she gave the ultimatum, Nauy chose to be honest. Nevertheless, when they arrived at Siggerud’s home, Kine threw him out. She had to protect the children, she says.
They had no choice, Nauy had no choice. He had to get well – for the children, for Kine and for himself.
DETOXIFICATION: Nauy underwent detoxification for five months in 2020 at Mestringshuset. Photo: Private
sea view
While Nauy received treatment at Mestringshuset, Kine was on sick leave and at home with the children. Child welfare and the school were connected, but Kine still felt left to her own devices and admits that she felt a lot of anger towards her roommate.
– He got the help he needed. You even stand around and pick up the shit, she says.
She still works a lot with her mind today.
– You can’t get high on heroin every time life gets tough. Then we have to go through many rounds, she says and adds:
– I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to go through what we did.
Researcher Turid Wangensteen points out that there is a lot of shame associated with falling back into problematic drug use. Especially for parents.
– It can be very overwhelming. There is a lot of shame associated with having a drug addiction, combined with being a parent. The shame comes from the stigma surrounding the topic.
She emphasizes that there is always a risk of falling back into problematic drug use.
– You are particularly vulnerable in the years after you have become drug-free, or if you are in a demanding period in your life.
For Kine and Nauy it is only in the last year that they have started to trust each other again.
When asked what made her stay, Kine has no doubts.
– Nauy is the one I love and want to share my life with.
But she is clear that she does not want to go through that round again.
– Should he use heroin again, there is nothing I can do to stop him.
Nauy also knows that the chance has been used up.
– I know I only have this one chance, and I’m not going to waste it.
Dagbladet has been in contact with the father of Kine’s eldest daughter. He is informed that the case is being discussed.
